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When I was 19 I had an abortion. I felt at the time that is my only option. My boyfriend did not want to be a father, my mother did not want to be a grandmother and in all honesty I did not want to be a mother yet. I chose the abortion and it has haunted me ever since. I thought I was okay with the decision and felt fine about it initially. After some time I'd find myself feeling guilty and having regret.

I began drinking heavily, became more sexually active than I was previous to the abortion and I was doing all of this to numb the pain of the regret and the guilt and the pain. One bad choice led to another and I ended up being involved in a drunk driving fatality car crash. I was put on trial for first degree manslaughter. One bad choice after another and many lives were affected by my choices.

I'm now married with two children. If I had not gone through the things I've been through in my life I wouldn't be the person I am today. I truly believe that I learned from my experiences but going through those experiences was not easy and it was damaging and healing all at the same time as strange as that sounds. I'm still working on the healing part and I think I will be for all of my life. Had I not made the choice to abort I don't believe that I would have traveled down my path of destruction. I believe that because of that one choice I lost my way and in an effort to comfort myself, to numb the pain, to hide the past...........I created more chaos and more pain and destroyed more lives.

I know that women have come on here celebrating their abortions and for those women I hope that you truly are okay, I hope that when you give birth to your firstborn child that your joy is not overcome by your sadness that may creep up into your soul for the loss of the child that you aborted. If you are okay with your choice then good for you, that's awesome!!! I think that the posts speak for themselves and that the majority of women out there who go through abortion have some degree of regret, guilt and pain. It may not hinder them from living a full life but there's always a tiny speck of loss within their hearts. For others the choice of abortion leads to serious conflicts within person and serious heartache and regret that leads to more choices that leads to more regrets. Abortion is damaging and I hope for each and every woman out there who has gone through it that you all find healing in your lives.

Age: 38
Location: Texas
Date: April 10, 2011