Abortion Story: Michigan
Submitted to Abort73 by a 20-year-old woman on March 5, 2011.
I was 18 and a senior in high school. I was finally happy with life, but that was just the calm before the storm. I met this guy Will* and we seemed to hit it off right away. One thing lead to another and the next thing I know, we had just slept together and were playing a game called "Find the condom". Apparently it fell off at some point and neither of us can recall when that had happened. I assured him that I couldn't and wouldn't get pregnant. A week goes by and we are hitting it off even more, and then the following week, everything started to go downhill. Go figure. He started to ignore me. I was a little irked about it and also getting really sick. I knew something was wrong with me when I couldn't eat any meat because it looked and tasted raw.
When I had finally gotten a hold of Will, he told me that he was going back to his ex and that he had been seeing her for the last week. I was angry at the fact that he couldn't just tell me that, I was more then willing to be just friends. After our argument, I told my mom that I thought I was pregnant. A couple pregnancy tests later and a trip to the doctors office, I found out that I was.
I knew that I couldn't keep this information away from Will and I called him instantly after I had found out. I was called everything underneath the sun and my friend's mom decided to talk to Will, since he wasn't able to talk to me. I wanted to keep the baby and Will did not. I gave him a couple days to think about what I had told him and that we needed to talk about this. I reassured him that I wanted nothing but for us to be friends and to handle this like the adults we were.
Will continued to blow me off and when I went back to school, I was constantly getting sick and going down to the nurses office to eat crackers. My friend Cody (who is now my boyfriend of 2 years) said that I should keep the baby and that he would even put a baby seat in his car and would help me out in any way he could. Cody was the only person who could make me feel better about the situation I was in. I went over to my friend Kim's* house, who Will was roommates with, to see if Will and I could talk in person. Once Will came home, I was on the sofa and he was instantly angered at the fact that I was there. He had brought his girlfriend home and they quickly went to his bedroom and locked the door. He had refused to talk to me about it and would only do so via Facebook. He denied that it was his.
I was currently living at my dad's ex girlfriends mothers house. Once everyone had found out I was pregnant, I was told if I kept the baby that I would get kicked out. They told me that I needed to have an abortion and it plagued my thoughts. I was told that I could never raise a child. That I was a whore. That I was raised better then to go off and get pregnant. It is all a blur as to how I chose abortion. I thought that this baby that was growing in my stomach was nothing but a sickness. My best friend at the time would keep telling me that it was nothing but a alien that needed to be extracted.
I remember everything that happened the day of my abortion appointment. I remember that I wanted to leave, but something inside my head was telling me to continue and that it wasn't all that bad. After the appointment, my body has not been the same. I would even have dreams of my baby that I killed ruthlessly. One day, I finally broke down and fell on my knees and prayed for God to give me a sign that he was real and for him to help me believe again.
I was an Atheist for years prior to my abortion and with my back turned on God. I believe Satan used me as a pong for his evil deeds. I beg for forgiveness every day that I am alive. I can never forgive myself for the abortion I had. I am now Pro-Life and want others to hear my story. I want to help stop the ignorance that I fell easily to. Abortion is not the answer to an unwanted pregnancy.
And now that I look back at what I did, I know that I could have raised my baby all by myself. It would have been hard, but I could have done it. I shouldn't have listened to the opinions of others, or the threats. I should have trusted in myself and in the few people who supported me in having that baby.
Date: March 5, 2011