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• /abort73

Abortion is something I thought I would never have to do. Even writing "have to do" sounds weird to me considering it really did not have to be done when I think back. I was so happy to be pregnant - I felt like God chose me to carry one of His little ones inside me, truly a blessing. My boyfriend was also happy, however financially we were both in situations that was not enough to support a child (or so I thought). My other reason for having the abortion was because I was so scared, terrified, horrified of what people would say, how I would take it, the staring, the comments, etc. I was a coward, and I told God, thank you for this baby but I am giving it back to you because I would not be a good mother for this baby. I asked God for His forgiveness and went ahead with the abortion when my boyfriend was working. He never knew about it, but he felt it in his spirit. I was shocked at how connected we were because of this unborn child - I never told him but he sensed a loss. A few weeks later I faked a miscarriage when my period finally came. I went through the whole works, hospital for hours, faking everything. At this point, I just felt like a horrible person, not worthy of living. Not only did I abort our child, I lied about it and made him go through that to save myself of the shame. Everything I did was selfish and I hated myself for it. I couldn't look in the mirror. I cried out to God and told Him that I would never do it again. Until a few months ago I was faced with another pregnancy - and I never thought I would do it again. I aborted and did not think twice about it. As soon as I found out, I aborted. I don't even know when I came to be a cold person. It hurts to think about it, my soul has been greatly affected - I do feel God's presence and He has told me through a prophetic word that "He will heal my womb" - when the pastor said that to me, I burst out in tears. Only God can bring restoration, healing, deliverance and forgiveness. He is a gracious God and He will have mercy on you. Just do not put yourself in the situation of abortion because it's a trap from the enemy to steal, kill and destroy the plans of God. Abortion is not something that you can just forget about, no matter how hard you try to suppress it - we have enough things in the world distracting us from the will of God, keep yourself pure and ask God for strength - seek first the Kingdom of God! I love Him so much, and I thank God for this opportunity to talk freely about what I experienced, once you can talk about it, the enemy no longer holds the power. Amen.

Age: 23
Location: Canada
Date: October 28, 2010