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• /abort73

I had been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I had always been careful but then for about 2 months I was having stomach problems – didn't feel well, but in my heart I knew. I was pregnant – I remember the moment my boyfriend checked the pregnancy test. I was so depressed – upset that at this age before I graduated from school that this could happen to me – that after all my careful planning of my life I could be pregnant. My boyfriend kept saying that we would have another chance – that this was not the right time. We're still together now but its different. We fight so often – for reasons I don't even understand. I shouldn't be upset with him – but I always feel that it is his fault. I thought too that maybe we couldn't have a baby. That I was too young. But I wanted this child.. I wanted it even if the time wasn't right. But my boyfriend was so convinced that the time wasn't right – that we would have time in the future that I listened. We are still together. And he tells me at some times that he thinks about our decision. But I don't think he realizes the burden I feel. I laugh and I'm happy. But when I am reminded of the baby that I see pass by me in a stroller... when I see a child who should be about my child's age... when I see my friends have children who were born at the same time my child was supposed to… all I feel is sadness and the utmost depression. I feel myself spiraling. The more time goes by, the more I think about it. I don't know how I will live with myself – later when I do get pregnant and I think the time is right. I think of what my baby would have been if it would have been here today. He or a she..walking or crawling? I will regret it till the day I die.

Age: 23
Location: USA
Date: August 23, 2010