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I would do anything to go back and tell my younger self to have that baby...

Abortion Story: Kingsville, MD

Submitted to Abort73 by a 59-year-old woman on April 4, 2019.

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I had an abortion when I was 17. I knew it was wrong, and yet I did it anyway because I was afraid of what my parents would think if I told them I was pregnant. I did not want to disappoint my father. The father of the baby also wanted me to have an abortion. Plus being in high school, I saw no way of managing this situation.

Looking back on this decision as an adult, although my parents would have been very upset, I can say with confidence that they would have been there for me. But at 17 you can be very afraid, and you do not see yourself through the eyes of your  parents.

The decision I made to have an abortion still haunts me at age 59. I can't believe it's a choice I made, and yet I did.  The older I got, the more appalled I was with myself for this decision. I would do anything to go back and tell my younger self to have that baby. I wish I could tell my younger self that the guilt, shame, and pain that I would carry for the rest of my life was going to be crippling at times. When my children were born, it pained me so much to know that I didn't give my 1st child a chance. When I became a grandmother, it really struck me again what a terrible decision it was to do away with that precious life that could have been the one to discover a cure for cancer, would have been the love of someone's life in marriage, and would have had children of their own and could have been such an asset to this world. Although I know God has forgiven me, I still live with so much regret and disgust for myself.  If you are considering an abortion because you are young and afraid to tell your parents, please reconsider. They will love and support you even if they are upset at first. Or find a loving relative that can help you. My parents died when I was in my early 20's. So then I had no parents and no child.

I'd like to think that babies at 7-8 weeks old do not have a soul implanted yet because if they do, what will I say to the child I aborted when we meet in heaven. I am so very sorry, little baby of mine, for what I did. And I have loved you all these years, despite my despicable act.

Age: 59
Location: Kingsville, MD
Date: April 4, 2019

Search by related keyword: Afraid / Parents / Guilt / Shame / Pain

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