Abort73.com > Feedback > Abortion Stories > January 10, 2017

#abortionstories @abort73

I'm 17, and I've had two abortions. One at 12 weeks and one at 16. What kind of person am I? I hate myself...

Abortion Story: England

Submitted to Abort73 by a 17-year-old woman on January 10, 2017.

>

I was 16 and totally convinced I wasn't pregnant—just greedy and overeating. I thought that was why I had put on weight. But my boyfriend was scared, so we took a test. I wanted him to come in and take it with me, but I didn't want to ask him so I did it alone. Two minutes felt like two lifetimes and then, bang, I'm pregnant. I panicked and then for some reason almost smiled. I don't understand why. It wasn't like I wanted to be pregnant. I just wasn’t horrified that I was. I don’t know how to explain it. I went back out and told him; he was in shock. I just cried and cried, and he left me to cry and cry. This makes him sound bad, but really he's a good guy. We spent the whole day convinced we'd need to break up as I wanted to keep it and didn't want to force him to do something he didn't want to do. 

I got in the car to go home with my dad, and he saw I'd been crying. He asked why. I told him, “Dad. I'm pregnant.” He goes “f—k.” That's all; just f—k. He then was so supportive and shocked me so much. I cried more. He told me he'd stick by me no matter what. When I came home to tell my mum, who I thought would love me either way, she made the deduction for me to have an abortion. She believed I was too irresponsible to make my own decision. So we went to my doctor, and I just pretended I was ok—when I just wanted to scream, “THIS IS EVERYTHING I DON’T WANT; PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME, PLEASE!” 

We went to the clinic, and I lied and said this was my choice. She wouldn't let me bring my boyfriend, and I wish he was there. It didn't work the first time, so I had to go back the next day. I killed my baby on February 2, 2016, and I regret it. I mean, my life is good, I'm happy, and I'm still with my boyfriend, but I can't tell anyone. I can't talk to my parents because it's too emotional, and I don't think my boyfriend wants to hear about it anymore. I just want to tell someone that I'm in pain. This hurts; I'm grieving. This hurts me; I just want to scream it out at people I don't even know. I just want someone to know it hurts because it hurts so much to know I don't have my baby. I'm 17, and I've had two abortions. One at 12 weeks and one at 16. What kind of person am I? I hate myself. 

Some days I make myself sick because I'm so disgusted with what I've done and other days I'm selfish enough to put it all behind me and try to have fun, but I just grieve and no one else does. My mum doesn't care that her grandchild is dead. I don't think my boyfriend cares that our baby is dead. I feel so alone with this grief. I don't think anyone but me cares, and that hurts so much. It's so isolating; I just feel alone in my grief and alone in my pain. Everyone else can feel sad for me or it may hurt them, but not like this. They don't know this pain, and I can't tell them this pain. I'm alone with it. Please, I just want to tell someone that I'm in pain. I don't want to be alone with it anymore.

 

Age: 17
Location: England
Date: January 10, 2017

Get Help

If you’re pregnant and contemplating abortion, what a mercy that you’ve found this website! Abortion is not the answer—no matter what anyone is telling you.

Click here to find local help.

Click here for hundreds of real-life abortion stories.

Click here if you've already had an abortion.

Get Involved

Abortion persists because of ignorance, apathy and confusion. Abort73 is working to change that; you can help! Get started below:

Engaging the Monster

Social Media Graphics:

Post them online to introduce your friends, fans or followers to Abort73.com.

Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

Abort73 Shirts:

Be a walking billboard for Abort73.com.

Educate. Activate.

Abort73 Promo Cards:

Stash some in your wallet or purse and be ready to hand them out or strategically leave them behind.

Life Is Not an Accident

Support Abort73

Abort73 is part of Loxafamosity Ministries, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. We are almost entirely supported by private donations—all of which are tax-deductible. Click here to make a contribution.

Giving Assistant is another way to raise money for Abort73 at thousands of online retailers. Use this link to get started.