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• /abort73

I don't know how to begin this story. If you are reading this, I beg of you to please never listen to the bad idea in your head. There's nothing you can regret by doing the good. I had several chances to change my decision, but I went in and listened to the ugly thought. I thought I would be happy afterwards, but I'm not. I kept thinking how God tried to stop me, but I never wanted to let him stop me. The father of my child wanted to have this child and offered to work two jobs to take care of our first daughter and the one I was carrying. I didn't want to listen. Nor did I tell him that I was going to kill our child. How can I move on in life like this never happened? My sister has had an abortion. She should have stopped me from doing this sinful act because she's been through it. She told me it would be okay. I've been a good women all my life, and now look what I've done. I believe in God, and I know that God will not forgive me of this sin because I knowingly did it. God, how I wish I could have April 20th back, so I could care less about what people were going to say or how I was going to take care of my baby. I regret it so much, and the only thing that will heal me is telling others not to have an abortion, no matter what your life situation may be. God loves you, and he does not want you to put a sin like this onto your shoulders. If after reading this you still have an abortion, you will think back to this moment and regret that you didn’t listen to my advice. I have nightmares every night, and every day I live with this thought, “I’m a killer who killed an innocent baby; I was the only one who could have protected him or her in this world.” I want to kill myself for this, but at the same time I have to live for my daughter. Please, do not have an abortion. My boyfriend told me “no,” my little sister told me “no,” but I listened to my older sister because I thought her reasons would make me happy after this. It’s killing me. I can’t move on in life. I just can’t. I didn’t do this to feel like this, I did this to be happy; instead I'm miserable. I can’t live. I have picked the knife up several times to kill myself. You don't want to live life with guilt. It's better to know that you've tried than to know you're a killer.

Age: 23
Location: Delaware
Date: April 24, 2016