Abortion Story: Tucson, AZ
Submitted to Abort73 by a 27-year-old woman on January 11, 2014.
The moment I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't think about anything else. I'm 27-years-old and raising a 7-year-old boy pretty much by myself. My now ex-boyfriend didn’t show much support even though we lived together. My initial response was, “I’m not ready for another child at this point in my life.” But if that was the case, what were my options? That was December 22, 2013. On Jan 4th, it was confirmed. I was 6 weeks pregnant. I was happy to be pregnant but not too excited about the circumstances that surrounded the situation. All I wanted was for my boyfriend to be supportive and to reassure me that our future was going to work out for the best with the baby that we created. But no, it seemed as soon as I told him I was pregnant, he stopped coming home. It bothered me but not too much. I thought we would talk about it later. Well, the unthinkable happened. The night he came home, which was two days later, we got into a verbal fight which led to me asking him to leave. He left and stopped answering my calls or texts. Mind you, my becoming pregnant was something that HE WANTED. Now I know it takes two to get pregnant, and tracking my period was the only form of birth control I took. FOOLISH, but I had it under control for so long because I knew what not to do on my fertile days. To make this short, I found myself alone and pregnant with no support, other than co-workers. I felt so lost. I then looked up pro-choice and pro-life abortion information and immediately thought abortion was not something I wanted to go through. But on the other hand, I feared what would happen in 9 months and the next 18 plus years with another little one! I was TORN, HURT CONFUSED and HAPPY. I was ready to make prenatal appointments but considering abortion. I read other women's stories. I said, “I’m having my baby!” Then I scheduled an appointment to terminate my pregnancy, but I was still undecided. On the morning of the appointment, it had been about four days since I heard from my boyfriend. During that time, I called and texted him numerous times to talk about this, because this was special to me. NO ANSWER TO ANYTHING. I asked for 5 minutes of his time. Nothing. I cried and cried. And cried. Because I felt that was my attempt to carry my baby to term. I DIDN'T want to raise another child alone. MY son sees his dad only for the summer. This was the exact reason I didn't want to become pregnant—because of the doubts I had about the father being there. HE ignored me. I felt so sorry for putting my baby in this situation. After attempting to contact him and getting nothing, MY SELFISH thoughts told me that since he doesn't want to deal with this, neither do I. Understand, those were emotions of HURT and shock and disbelief over the position I was in. I understood this situation wasn't going to go away. I felt as if I had to make my decision soon because if I wasn't going to keep my baby, I'd rather do it sooner than later. I cried and cried! And then I went to the appointment. Two babies with two fathers—possibly no support from my family or the fathers’. So many thoughts. But my heart wanted my baby! On the way there, I called again. Nothing! I convinced myself it was the best choice, even though I knew it wasn't. Once there, they left me in the room for about twenty five minutes alone. That part was hard because I saw the equipment and looked at the computer with my information about what I was about to do. I held back tears and just fanned my face to stop them from coming. I had the surgical procedure done and when it was over, I thought, "I'm not pregnant anymore." I didn't feel relief—just sadness, but I went about my day and rested for the next couple of days. The day after the procedure, which was the 8th of January, it was my BIRTHDAY! I tried to celebrate but not as I wanted to. My only gift was the one I didn't receive—my baby. The day after my birthday, I broke down crying because I wanted to take it back and be pregnant again. I didn't care about being alone with my baby or the struggles I may have faced. I just wanted to take it all back. This has definitely been an eye opener for me. God knows where my heart was, but I let my mind make up my decision. It has been 3 days, and I have not spoken to my ex-boyfriend. He has no idea what I’ve done. If for any reason you have a doubt about going through with an abortion, please take the time to really think. Talk to someone you can trust.This is a decision I have to live with for the rest of my life. I just hope God will bless me with another opportunity to have a child—as this is something to not take for granted.
Location: Tucson, AZ
Date: January 11, 2014