• Videos / 
• Gear / 
• Blog / 
• Podcast / 
• Substack

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• /abort73

I recently graduated from college—back in May. I did it with a one-year-old child, on my own, when I was told I could not do it. But I did. I recently found out I was pregnant again—by the same guy. The thing is, during my first pregnancy, he got another girl pregnant while I was pregnant. We argued a lot but made up. When I found out this time about being pregnant, I was in the ER, and the nurse asked me how far along was. I said, “What are you talking about?!” She said, “…with the pregnancy.” I immediately started crying. All I could think about was already having a child. I still cannot find a good job, and I don't get financial help from my son’s dad. Another child will just mean more struggle. I told my son’s dad, and he immediately said we need to get an abortion. I understand where he is coming from, but I never want to kill my child because of a mistake I continue to make. I am scared to tell family because they don't like my sons dad. Its not that he is a bad person—he is a 29 year-old professional who doesn't take responsibility for his actions or take care of my son the way he should. He doesn't care how bad it hurts me emotionally or how it would hurt physically, and he has made it very clear that he will not be supportive of me if I keep the baby. He said, “Why would you want to bring a child into this mess?”—the mess he made by messing with other girls while I was pregnant with my first son. Instead of going to my doctor, I wanted to see how far along I was and found out I was 5 weeks. My due date is September 16—a day after my 2 year-old’s birthday. I really don't know what to do. I researched so much on how it affects women, and so far it seems to be so depressing. I don't want to deal with that regret for the rest of my life. I have cried so much, every day, thinking about what to do. I hold my stomach, knowing it is a precious little girl in there. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to make things worse. I want to make the right decision that is best for me and my son, but I don't have the support from anyone except my twin sister. I know my family will be upset that I am pregnant again by the same guy. Even though I am 25, I feel as though I am 16—ashamed of what I put myself into. Even though he tells me how much he loves me, I don't think a man would make a woman choose like that. He comes back home tomorrow and wants me to take the pill soon, but I need to make the decision—even if it makes him mad.

Age: 25
Location: Ohio
Date: January 20, 2014