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I am writing today because two years after aborting my God given gift, I am once again grieving my one and only son. I got pregnant when I was sixteen years old with twins, and although I was young, there was nothing that would stop me from having my children. And I thank God I did not abort them. They are now three. In August of 2011, I found out I was pregnant. At the time things we not going well with my boyfriend, and I had cheated on him a year before that, and he was still upset. And he was cheating on my during our entire relationship. He even got a girl pregnant many times. Through looking on his phone, I discovered this girl got 7 abortions for him. He even cried to me about the abortions she got. I thought I would never stoop to this level. I moved out with my children and decided to go back to school. The baby's father begged me to get an abortion. He would tell me anything to kill it. Every time I thought about killing it, I cried and had anxiety attacks. I did my research on abortion and saw pictures of how they did it and everything. My sister also found out and also told me to kill it. With absolutely no support, I gave up. On November 11, 2011, just two days before my daughters birthday, I aborted my one and only son. I was over 20 weeks pregnant. The baby's father drove me there, and the whole way there I cried, and he didn't care at all. He yelled at me to give him the directions and said nothing more. When I arrived at the abortion clinic, they took me into a room where the woman explained to me that I had 4 more weeks to make a decision, and I still said yes. They told me that because I had a previous C-Section, they may not be able to do it, because the placenta may be attached. Ao they did an ultrasound. I prayed to God as I laid down on that bed and saw my child on that screen that he would protect him. But the doctor said we could still go through with it, so I did. The abortion was a three-day process because I was so far along. They put sea weed sticks into my vagina, which was very painful, for two days to stretch it. For those two days, my baby kicked and punched, and I still did it. I aborted my child. I became completely depressed as soon as I got home. I cried and said to the father, "my baby is gone; he is not in me, and I don't have him here with me to hold like you usually would when you have a baby." I would party and drink and just cry, but this behavior did not last long. I knew I had two children to take care of so I stopped. I became severely depressed for about 8 months. I didn't know how to be a mother to my daughters anymore, and the father was never home and made this other girl his girlfriend. He would see me cry till my eyes were swollen and never gave two shits. I found it funny because even though all this happened, I graduated college. The father was only 21 at the time, working a job where he made his own hours and made a lot of money so everything would have worked out perfectly if I had him anyway. To make a long story short, the other girl is now pregnant again, with a boy, and through looking at his Facebook messages, he says to her, "I don't want u to kill it u shouldn't do that" and "I feel so bad for you, you know I got you if anything."

I am sad, disappointed in myself. I feel like life is a dream, like why is this even allowed? Abortion should not even be an option! I REGRET MY ABORTION EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE!!!

Age: 21
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Date: April 21, 2013