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• /abort73

I live in London and 3 years ago, at the mature age of 29 years old, I had an abortion. I can number several reasons here why it seemed like the best thing to do at the time: financial situation, my boyfriend, my living conditions, complete ignorance of benefits and help, etc, and so I legally looked for help in a termination clinic. I was 3 weeks pregnant at the time, and the appointment was booked for a couple of days later. I didn’t have any physical problems following the procedure, but as soon as it was over, I knew something terrible would happen to me. I knew I rushed into the decision and couldn’t stop thinking what a terrible thing I’ve done. I had the feeling that I was going to be punished for my act and the strong sensation that I had deviated my path in life—as if I had run away from myself and was incapable of finding my way back. Coming from a Catholic family, I started to pray for forgiveness and practice meditation. Two years later, I was starting to feel a little better about myself, but the feeling that something really bad would happen because of the abortion never left my heart and my thoughts. A couple of months ago, I was diagnosed with a very rare type of Cancer on my spine and the first thing that popped into my mind when I received the result was: I have caused this through the abortion. There is no proved medical relation between the abortion and the Cancer, but in my heart I know. I know that it is a consequence of my own action. I’ve been through a surgery and now need radiotherapy. It is a life threatening illness, and I would rather not go through too many details specifically about it. All I want to do is create awareness. Don’t rush into the decision of having an abortion. Look for help, information, think, talk, pray if you believe, meditate if you like, and look for the answers inside yourself. Don’t do what I have done, don’t panic. Things happen at the right time, even if you can’t see right now. Trust yourself. I really wish I had had my baby.

Age: 33
Location: London, UK
Date: April 12, 2013