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• /abort73

A month before I turned 18, I got pregnant. I was scared and so confused. I'd always been against abortion, but I already had a son when I was 14. He's three now. I was so scared what people would think or say. I had just gotten my job back, and I was enjoying it. My boyfriend was supportive. We've been together 4 years, since before our son was born. I drank a lot throughout my pregnancy. I was sad and guilty. We agreed on the abortion. I made the appointment in Winnipeg. I saw a doctor for the consultation. She gave me an ultrasound and confirmed I was 14 weeks. I was scared and she inserted a laminaria stick inside me. I felt like this was all a mistake. I suddenly changed my mind when I left the clinic. We tried to take the stick out, but it didn't work. My cervix was dilating. It was too late. The next day I went in to the hospital. A nurse gave me some hospital clothes to put on. I was admitted to surgery and another nurse inserted an intravenous in my hand. It hurt. After that she brought me to a closed off waiting room with three other girls. I was the last to get my abortion. A nurse lend me to a cold room. I laid down on the bed and they strapped my legs down and my arms. I started freaking out. They gave me anesthesia right away. I was out , but I was still aware. I could hear a vacuum and suction and felt a cold sensation on my bottom. I woke up crying and screaming. I was so scared. I couldn't believe what I had done. But it was over. There was no going back. She was gone. I felt remorse and guilt. I was so angry with myself I could only cry. One of the nurses rudely asked me why I was crying. Why the hell do you think I'm crying. I just murdered my own child. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I regret everything I did... I wish I could go back in time to when I first learned I was pregnant and just stayed sober and thought of the consequences, rather than being selfish. My child never asked to be brought in this world. So innocent and precious...

Age: 18
Location: Manitoba Canada
Date: November 2, 2012