Abortion Story: Missouri
Submitted to Abort73 by a 23-year-old woman on May 4, 2012.
I had an abortion a little over two years ago. I wasn't crazy in love, we weren't getting married, I had just recently met the guy. We went out on a couple dates, he totally swept me off my feet. That was short lived. About two weeks after we had ended what little we had, I found out I was pregnant. I was DEVASTATED. I didn't know what to do, where to go, or who to talk to. I didn't want to talk to him, so I called my mom and my best friend. It wasn't something I wanted, but I wasn't ready for a child. I didn't understand my options, and some people made it sound like this was my only choice. I had to drive an hour and a half to the clinic, alone. I was far from home, going to college and no one else could know. I held together pretty well on the way there, but the way back it was all I could do to stay on the road, I was crying so hard.
To be honest, it's painful. Emotionally, physically, mentally exhausting and painful, and I had to suffer alone. After that day, I pretty much cut myself off. I didn't want to feel the guilt and pain, so I shut down, didn't feel anything for a long time. This wasn't hard because I kept pretty busy, until one day it hit me and I was a colossal mess. I stayed that way for a while. It ruined friendships, broke my heart, and made it hard just to live. I was angry for a long time too. The one thing no one tells you is the effect it will have on your entire life. No one shares their story and tells you that they regret it every day or that they were emotionally shattered. They talk about how their lives moved on. Life moved on, but there's always a period of time where you are pretty sure the world is ending. Someone, anyone needs to share that. I still carry that horrified feeling that I'm going to be judged or that everyone knows. I still face my decision every day. More people know now and I'm not as afraid to talk about it or share with others, it's all part of how I got to where I am, but the best way to fight for the unborn and help these women is to educate them. They need to know the full effect of their decision, on them, the child, and everyone else involved because it does effect everyone. And that support needs to be there without judgement. Regardless of the decision, your life is changed FOREVER, so they need to know the weight of that decision.
Date: May 4, 2012