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I found out I was pregnant three days before my 19th birthday. My friend talked me into taking a pregnancy test and I was truly shocked when I saw two lines. At first I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do. At the time, I had just moved away from my boyfriend’s, back into my parent’s house because of a huge break up. We met when I was 14 and we have been off and on since then. I called him and he told me he wanted me to keep it, so I moved down there to try and work it out for our baby. He is a heavy meth user, unemployed and emotionally unstable. He is certainly not someone who could be a father. I started having second thoughts and eventually told him I was thinking about abortion. We were also in a domestic violence case. He started talking down to me that night telling me I was a whore. I slapped him, and he shook me so hard I thought that alone would kill my baby. He also punched me. He left and the next day I packed all my stuff and left him for the last time. I thought I had no other choice but to get an abortion. I drove to my appointment, and I was so scared I didn’t go in. A friend of mine told me to make another appointment. All my friends told me it was the right thing to do. That was two weeks ago. I took the abortion pill and it was one of the most painful things I have ever done. The guilt didn’t hit me until a few days ago. I can’t stop thinking about my baby. I feel like god will never forgive me. I just can’t believe I would murder my own child. I have never felt so bad about something like this in my entire life. I have no idea how this is going to affect me in my future. If you’re thinking about abortion, really give it thought. There is so much help out there for pregnant women and women in domestic violence situations like me. There is hope. You don’t have to murder your own child.

Age: 19
Location: Snohomish, Washington
Date: November 1, 2011