Misplaced Regret

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Each week, Abort73 receives new testimonies from women who regret their abortions. Each week we add many of those stories to the website. They are raw and painful reminders of the devastating toll abortion so often takes on aborting mothers. But over the weekend we received testimony of a very different kind of regret. This 32-year-old woman from Virginia writes:

I became pregnant outside of my marriage twice. Thanks to this wonderful country, I was able to get rid of both safely without anyone knowing. I am so grateful that I did not have to turn to an unsafe method, which I did consider. I was 23 years old and had been married for 5 years when I had our daughter. I have never regretted anything more. Now I am stuck in a lifeless marriage with a man that I have no attraction to, with a kid I never wanted in the first place.

Part of me thinks this a fabricated story–a calculated attempt to craft a testimony that celebrates abortion by turning the normal experience of regret on its head. It may well be, but it also may be true. It's entirely possible that this 32-year-old woman believes her life would be better if her 9-year-old daughter were dead. Certainly there have been tragic examples of mothers killing born children in an attempt to free themselves from the burdens of parenthood. That doesn't make such feelings right or normal, but it does make them plausible.

Whether this is a true account or not, the real question is whether or not her feelings change anything. If post-abortive feelings of regret are a strike against abortion, are post-birth feelings of regret a point in abortion's favor? The answer should be an obvious "no." And in the providence of God, we received a second testimony on the heels of the one from Virginia–one that helps illustrate why no amount of thankfulness or relief on the part of the aborting mother justifies abortion itself. The following story comes from a 20-year-old woman in Green Bay, WI:

My mother became pregnant at the age of 16 with me. After hearing this news, my father was no longer in the picture. My mother was kicked out of her home, and was pressured to have an abortion by friends. At such a young age, my mom did not know of any resources to assist young pregnant women with nowhere to go. Without any help, she decided to give me life.

Every time I experience the beauty and joy of everyday life, I thank God for this life I've been given. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how close I came to losing my life. I believe that it is because of my mom's story that I have been able to influence other girls who experience a crisis pregnancy. I develop deep friendships with these girls and share with them the connection that I feel with every unborn baby.

To me, every unborn baby is myself. To me, every unborn baby is a baby full of potential to live a life that touches others and inspires others to experience joy and love. To me, every unborn baby is a child's potential best friend, maid of honor, late night friend that will stay up all night with you eating ice cream and sharing secrets. To me, every unborn baby is a vital part of his or her family, community, and society. Without this child, we all will experience a void that can never be filled.

Every season in life presents an opportunity for me to reflect on the sacredness and significance of life. I especially love Christmas time. "It's a Wonderful Life" is my absolute favorite Christmas movie for many reasons. Most importantly, it reminds us all that each person affects the lives of many. Each person is a critical link in the web of human relationships.

The woman from Virginia assumes her life would have been better if she'd had another abortion. What she doesn't consider is whether or not her daughter's life would have been better. What would this 9-year-old girl say of her mother's near abortion? What will she say of it as a 20-year-old, or when she has kids of her own? The fact that so many women regret their abortion is strong indication that it is a gross violation of their God-endowed, motherly instinct. But even if no woman ever regretted an abortion, it would not make the act any less heinous. The evil of abortion is not that it has laden generations of women with immense grief. The evil of abortion is that it has cost generations of women (and men) their very lives.