Birth Story: Australia
Submitted to Abort73 by a 28-year-old woman on August 22, 2012.
When I was 17, I remember telling my Mum that there was no way I was going to have children. For some reason, little children and babies gravitated toward me all the time, I could never understand why, as I had no desire to have anything to do with them. Little did I know that a few months down the track I would fall pregnant.
I was in a short-term relationship with someone who I really didn’t want to be with. We had been together for 6 months and had fallen pregnant. Straight away I went to a 24/7 medical clinic to receive the “morning after pill”. Unfortunately, I was one of the 3% of people who it did not work for. I really cannot begin to explain the feelings I was having. I just felt panicked and sick, so sick waiting to see if it would work. I told my cousin (and best friend) straight away that I thought I could be pregnant. She went and got a pregnancy test for me. I took the test and it was confirmed. I felt like being sick. I could not believe it. I think my whole world fell apart at that very instant. I broke down. I went and told my cousin. She checked the test. It was positive. My boyfriend was shocked and couldn’t say anything but "no, no, no, no." He didn’t believe it at first.
My parents were strict Catholics and I was living with them at the time. I knew how much this would disappoint them, I was so afraid how they would react. A couple of days after at work, I told my secret to my work mate as I needed some guidance. I had no idea what to do. She told me there was only two things I could do, either have the baby or terminate it. She told me that she would come with me to any appointments I needed and would support my decision either way but was more for the termination, as I would be able to get on with my life. My friend went on to explain that she had a friend who had an abortion and that it was really simple. However, she needed continuous counseling and found it hard when her baby’s birth date came round. I felt I was stronger than that and just knew that having a way to escape this horrible situation I was in was the best thing to me at the time.
I made an appointment with a doctor to confirm my pregnancy. My ears rang as he told me it was positive and gave me my due date. I said to him that there was no way I could have the baby and he asked me why. I simply said, “because I just can’t”. He told me that he was sorry but he was against abortion and would not give me a referral to an abortion specialist. The anger I felt for that doctor was immeasurable.
I soon discovered a free family planning clinic who gave information on abortions and the procedures. I was asked many questions before taken into a room with a female consultant. Nine and half years later, to this very day, I can still feel the sense of haunting peace I felt when she started explaining the process, how simple it was going to be, how when the baby was terminated I would not see it and that I could go straight back home after. She further explained that I would be doing it at a perfect time as the baby was only a piece of tissue and nothing more. She smiled at me and made me feel so peaceful that I was making the right decision and there was nothing to be afraid of. She told me how I could continue my life as normal and that no one would have to know. Looking back on this time, I can now see how Satan really gave me a false sense of peace in order for me to commit such a heinous crime – murder.
I left that clinic with a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. My friend offered for me to stay at her house after the procedure where she would look after me. The following day my cousin called me at work to see how I was going. I told her how great I was feeling, how relieved I was and continued to tell her that I had decided to have an abortion. She was horrified and she told me that I couldn’t do that, that I was aborting ‘my’ baby. I felt anger toward her that she was challenging me and not supporting me and our phone conversation ended on a sour note.
The day after this conversation I received a phone call from my cousin's Mum who I was very close with. My cousin had told her. She pleaded and begged me not to do it. She asked me to go around to her place and talk to her. I really didn’t want to but I was doing it only to please her and get her off my back. After hours of crying and being held in my auntie’s arms, she had convinced me to keep my baby. She told me that being pregnant was in no way going to stop my parents from loving me and that they would be disappointed and shocked but that they would come around. And she also convinced me that it wasn’t the end of the world that I would cope because I was strong. Most importantly she helped me to realise that I would never be able to forgive myself for doing this heinous act and would never be able to live in complete freedom having the burden of this on my soul. That was the day Satan lost his battle. My family slowly came to terms with it and when my little boy was born into this world he was truly a gift sent from heaven, not only for me but also for my family. I truly believe that God can make good of difficult situations. Even though my baby was made out of wedlock, God still blessed me. Less than a year after my son was born his Dad and I broke up and I became a solo parent for the next 7 years of his life. Without a doubt, they were the hardest years of my life but the most rewarding and I would not change it for anything or anyone. I am now happily married and 5 months ago was blessed with another baby boy. My eldest boy now 9 ½ years old is the proudest and happiest big brother ever (and a fantastic helper!). I could not imagine life without him and I still look at him today and count him as a blessing. I can’t believe Satan was going to rob him of his life through me.
My faith is stronger than ever now and I wish to reach out to all those women out there who are thinking of aborting their baby because of whatever reasons or circumstances they may have. I feel sorry for all women who say I CAN'T do this. You CAN do it! Satan’s lies have made you believe that you CAN'T do it. I cannot stress this enough. Every one of us was made in the image of God himself. Life has been given as a gift to us which we have not been given authority to take away. Only God the Father has this authority. Ignore what the media, social networks, friends and family say to you, this child deserves to live, they deserve your care and love, and they have a right to live! Do not punish them for the circumstances surrounding their conception. I plead with you - be strong and have a little faith that God will see you through!
Date: August 22, 2012