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Birth Story: Florida

Submitted to Abort73 by a 39-year-old woman on April 20, 2011.

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In 1990, I was 18 and found out I was pregnant. I was scared, felt like I was alone, thought my parents were going to kill me, was confused and did I mention scared?

I knew that the “easy” way out would be to get an abortion, but I also knew that would be killing the child growing inside me and I couldn’t do that. I also knew it really wouldn’t be the easy way out, that if I had done that, I would always remember what I had done and have emotional scarring for the rest of my life.

My mom and dad told me that they were disappointed in me (for getting pregnant in the first place), but loved me and would support whatever decision I chose. I knew that if I kept the baby, chances would be that my mom and dad would have raised him. This child needed a mom and a dad, not a teenage mom and grandparents raising him. I decided to give him up for adoption.

We spoke to our pastor (who is still my pastor today) and he connected us to an adoption agency. The adoption process started out as a closed adoption. The parents adopting my child wouldn’t know who I was and I wouldn’t know who they were. I was ok with this.

In 1990 there were some cases in the news of parents who had given their children up for adoption that came back 2 or 3 years later to get their children back. That frustrated me. I couldn’t imagine the heartache the children and adopted parents were going through. I decided to write a letter to the couple who were adopting my child. I let them know that this was their child I was carrying and I would not come back later and try to take him/her away from them. It was not long after I wrote that letter when the adoptive parents decided that they wanted to meet me. I am so blessed that God allowed this to happen.

On August 30, 1990, my son was born. I don’t remember the date I went to finalize the adoption, but on that day he officially became their child. They had already adopted a beautiful Asian girl. I remember her running around flashing her sweet smile.

They have kept in touch with my parents and I, sending updates yearly. I was blessed to see the children grow.

This year my son will be 21 years old. When I was younger, I used to think what life would have been like had I not given him up for adoption. But then I think of this family and know that I made the best decision. God had a family in mind when he put this family together and it involved my son.

I married in 1992. I met him while I was pregnant with my son. One of the wonderful things about my husband was that he never judged me for getting pregnant. He loved me for who I was. Just a year after our first wedding anniversary, our first daughter was born. In 1995, our second daughter was born into our family and then the boys came: 1997, 1998, 2002, and 2004. We are a blessed family.

Age: 39
Location: Florida
Date: April 20, 2011

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