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I had an abortion because the man I had been dating was and still is a commissioned, active duty officer serving in the United States Air Force. The significance of his status is the fact that I was an enlisted Airman serving in the Oklahoma Air National Guard. You see, under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ), a commissioned officer is not permitted to date a non-commissioned officer or enlisted member. His coercion for not wanting to get in trouble for having caused an enlisted woman to become pregnant is what led me to killing my precious second child.

Before and during the abortion procedure, I experienced fear and anxiety. After having a discussion with the abortionist, Dr. Larry Burns, to ensure we wanted to proceed with the "choice" of abortion, I was taken into a recovery room to get prepared for the procedure. From there, I was led into the abortuary suite by the nurse and Dr. Burn's wife, Debbie.

When the nurse tried to put the IV for sedation in my arm, she had a very difficult time getting the needle into my vein. She had to take me back to the recovery room and wrap my arm in a hot towel to get my veins to surface. I was, then, taken back to the abortuary suite. I remember asking Debbie, before the nurse successfully put the IV in my arm, if God would forgive me for what I was doing. Debbie assured me, He would. When the IV was finally in, I began counting backward from ten, and the next thing I can remember is waking up in recovery crying for my daughter, who at the time, was three years old.

Immediately after my abortion, I felt shame and disbelief at what I had just done. A year later, I took an Air Force contract job in San Antonio, TX to run away from myself and the situation. It took the three months I lived in San Antonio and sharing my 'secret sin' with my dad and step-mom to realize moving there was not where God wanted me to be. The other realization I made was that I had moved so I could get away from the father and the bad memories surrounding the end of our relationship.

Very shortly after my return home, I saw the father and his new wife at the base exchange where I was having lunch with one of my new co-workers. This brought back a flood of memories and heart-wrenching grief. The effect of seeing him caused me to begin an extensive research on the internet for post-abortion healing. The result of my research led me to Project Rachel and Rachel's Vineyard

The weekend of January 17th, 2003, I went to my retreat. By going there, it allowed me to grieve the loss of my child. After much soul-searching and prayer, God revealed to me that this baby was also a little girl, so I named her Harmony Rachelle.

I am so thankful for the healing I found through Rachel's Vineyard. I am most thankful for the grace and mercy the Lord has given to me . It is my prayer that my story can be a witness to other military men and women that they do NOT have to choose abortion and if they have, there IS healing, forgiveness, and life after abortion.

Age: 35
Location: Oklahoma City, OK, USA
Date: April 9, 2011