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I was 18 years old and a senior in high school when I got pregnant by my boyfriend. My boyfriend didn't want anything to do with having a baby and he said he couldn't live with giving it up for adoption so he talked me into having an abortion. I justified it to myself by telling myself that I had plans to go to college and I didn't want to embarass my parents who were very involved in our church. I remember thinking during the procedure, "They're killing my baby!" What I realized much later was that I had killed my baby. I had other friends who had gone through the same thing so it was easy to just stuff the feelings of regret inside and go on with life. My boyfriend and I were engaged to be married after I graduated from college but a month before the wedding he broke off the engagement. I was then left feeling like a dirty, used, unlovable woman. He was the only man I had ever been with. I then went from relationship to relationship until I met a man that I thought I loved and who I thought loved me. We were married and when we tried to start a family I was unable to carry a child past the first trimester. I knew that it was because of the abortion. I changed doctors and he tried some medications and I was finally able to give birth to a beautiful baby boy. Before his first birthday my husband found someone else and left us. Again, I went from relationship to relationship. I finally decided that I needed to get back into church. I was beginning to deal with some of the hurt and past regrets when I was again pregnant with no husband. This time I decided that I would do the right thing and have my baby. I had a difficult pregnancy but with medication was able to carry my beautiful baby girl to term. This time through much prayer I decided to accept the marriage proposal of our daughter's father and we were married. After several years I gave my life to Jesus and became a new person. I knew that God forgave me and I was able to forgive myself for the huge mistake of having an abortion (and having premarital sex). My husband has been a wonderful father to our precious daughter and our wonderful son. I hope that my story will encourage anyone who is considering having an abortion to NOT do it. It is still the biggest regret of my life. But God is good. He has blessed me with four more children since the birth of my daughter. I know He is loving my aborted child in heaven and I can't wait for the day to meet him or her and say, "I'm sorry".

Age: 47
Location: Dayton, OH
Date: May 26, 2010