• Videos / 
• Gear / 
• Blog / 
• Podcast / 
• Substack

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• /abort73

I had only been dating my boyfriend for six months when I got pregnant. I was 23; he was 26. He was the first and only person I had ever been with, and our relationship was very unhealthy and toxic. I never once considered abortion. it was never an option for me. I value life, every life, and think even if someone’s life is difficult and fraught with hardship it is immeasurable in value. My boyfriend, however, thought otherwise. I found out I was pregnant at just three weeks and he spent the next six weeks degrading me, intimidating me with talk of lawyers and lawsuits, breaking my heart, manipulating me, calling me names like "sleazy" and "disgusting," telling me I would be a horrible mother and never have the life I want, and promising me that he would not give child support but spend all of his money fighting for custody. I chose to have an abortion out of fear and emotional exhaustion. I didn’t have money for lawyers and I was so distraught and hurt by everything he said that I could not think rationally or see that no judge would grant him custody. He even discouraged me from adoption saying it’s the most selfish thing you can do, because adopted kids hate their biological parents. I was so attached to my baby. She even had a name. Isabelle. It’s been a little over a year and I still cry every day in disbelief and unimaginable grief because she is not here in my arms. The level of sadness and anger I feel at my decision and the coercion that got me there has driven me to do dangerous and reckless things. If it were not for God I would not still be alive. Nothing could have prepared me for the anguish of exterminating my own precious child. Forever she will be missed and grieved. I refuse to grieve her silently, as she was silently forced out of this world.

Age: 24
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Date: August 9, 2023