Abortion Story: Hamilton, NJ
Submitted to Abort73 by a 23-year-old woman on May 8, 2019.
My worst regret is an abortion forced on me by everyone around me. My family. My ex-boyfriend. Even my Uncle. When I found out I was pregnant last July, my ex-boyfriend immediately said "abort." What a terrible word and terrible decision. I tried delaying the termination for as long as possible, but my mother was threatening to kick me out of the house. I am a college student graduating this May, but I always wonder what that unborn baby would have looked like. I was in love with my ex and believed his lies and manipulative tactics when he said, "I will be there for you. We will get through this together,” as he continued to BEG me to abort this innocent life. I was 7-8 weeks pregnant by the time I finally caved in to the pressure. And all I can say to anyone who is pregnant and considering abortion: DON'T DO IT! You WILL regret it for the rest of your life. I had no idea the psychological trauma and distress that would be enacted upon my life following the weeks of the termination. I did not even want to do it. It honestly felt like I was forced into it by everyone around me. My anti-pregnancy mother saying how hard it is to raise a baby, yet I am 23 years old! What about all those teen moms out there whose mothers didn't force THEM into an abortion?! I am envious of them.
I have so much remorse, regret, and guilt. I don't think I will ever get over this and it tears me up inside. Little things trigger my memories. Seeing the "pro-life" billboards on the NJ turnpike for example. I WAS pro-life and I was literally forced into an abortion. Yes it was "my decision" at the end of the day because I signed the paperwork agreeing—but I UNWILLINGLY agreed because I truly felt I had no other option. My mother was threatening to kick me out of the house. I was living there rent-free and could not afford my own housing at the time. If I had more resources and maybe a shelter or housing for while I was pregnant, then maybe I wouldn't have had to abort. I always look back at the what-ifs and could-have-beens. I could have given the baby up for an open adoption—which I did consider but still my mother said, "You won't be able to give that baby up; I know how you are!" Basically, my entire family said everything and anything they could to get me to end that innocent child's life. I always look back and think what that baby would have looked like. Would it have been a girl or boy? Would he/she have their father's features or mine? I lie in bed at night crying my eyes out at the memories. I am truly traumatized by the whole experience. If I could turn back time and redo it, I would fight for my baby's life and not cave in to the pressure. I am sorry, little one. RIP. Trust me, your mama regrets it every single day of her life.
To all those reading this: Don't do it. Don't get an abortion, you WILL regret it for the rest of your life. I'm not saying this to scare you. I'm saying it because I am living proof. I go through the emotional pain and regret now as well as severe psychological distress. I tried to delay it for as long as I could, but evil beings around me pressured and coerced me into it. I should not have believed their lies. I should have fought for that baby's life. I'm so sorry. Nothing in this world would EVER make me get another abortion. Worst decision of my life. There ARE other options out there. Don't end a human life.
Location: Hamilton, NJ
Date: May 8, 2019