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My boyfriend and I were in third year on campus, and I had just lost my virginity with him. I was naive and not really enlightened on the use of contraceptives. It was on my birthday that I had unprotected sex with him. Little did I know I would become pregnant on that same day. A month later, I would be holding a positive pregnancy test. I was in great shock; in fact I was trembling. I didn't know what to do because I was scared. When I told the father, he become emotionally unstable and would not even suggest keeping the baby. I couldn't tell my parents because that would frustrate them, plus I felt I wasn't ready to be a mum yet, having not completed my studies. I thought I could have an abortion and for sure my boyfriend became so supportive. He gave me the money for the procedure. On the 17th of June, 2015, I went to the abortion clinic and no medication was administered to me. I felt the baby being sucked out, and the blood was drained into a sink. It was a horrible experience. I felt pain and got depressed after the abortion. I couldn't seek counseling because I feared sharing my story. I withdrew from friends, church, and even started to hate my boyfriend. I blamed him for what I did; I felt and still feel the pain of losing my baby. My desire was to have another baby to replace the one I just killed, but my boyfriend wouldn't give in. Though I did very well academically, I still feel a loser. I keep on thinking of how old the baby would be and cried on the day when it would have been delivered. In 2017, I met a guy whom I felt really attracted to. It felt like a relief to know that I can do away with my boyfriend and meet a new guy because I didn't feel like anyone really loved me. I ended up sleeping with the new guy and got pregnant from a one-night stand. When I told him, he said we should find an immediate solution. Honestly, I felt used and since I wanted a kid so much, I realised I couldn't abort as he demanded. I tried to make him support me, but he was adamant with his decision. I later learned he was married. I couldn't make my boyfriend responsible for another man's kid, so we broke up and here I am left alone with a kid growing inside me and a man who thinks ill of me and wants nothing to do with me or his kid. In the beginning of December 2017, he left to be with his family in America. It was so painful. I cried and felt that I was being punished for being evil and killing my first born. I found myself thinking that this was an ideal situation to abort this baby because again, I was financially unstable and I didn't want to be a single mum. One night, I Googled abortion stories and that's how I found this site and decided to keep my baby. I couldn't afford to kill another soul. Right now, I am here with my daughter. It’s not easy because I have to live alone and mommy up, but I will do my best to be the best mom to her and when she grows up, I will tell her my story. She is so adorable and I’m asking God to guide us through, hoping one day I will find a man who will love me and my daughter. Her father left and offers no support, but I believe God is our father. Thanks to Abort73. You saved my little girl. She is one-month old now. To anyone out there contemplating abortion, don't do it because you will never be really peaceful. I lost my baby out of fear, and I will never have it back, no matter how many babies I might give birth to, They can't replace him or her. Please make a rational decision, because it’s not yet over unless you are dead.

Age: 24
Location: Kenya
Date: April 20, 2018