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I love my baby; I wish I could've kept her. I hope she and God forgives me. I want to heal...

Abortion Story: Ohio

Submitted to Abort73 by a 18-year-old woman on November 11, 2017.

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I was 18 years old and in my senior year of high school when I became pregnant. I became pregnant in May of 2017 and my abortion happened at 12 weeks, in July 2017. Here it is November and I still find myself thinking about the situation EVERY DAY. I cry, get angry, and sometimes I don't know whether to get over it or just let myself grieve. I can't get over it because I was under pressure and I was kinda far into my pregnancy. I was practically forced into getting an abortion because I was pregnant by a man that's 18 years older than me. There's no way I could let my family find out his age; my family would be mad at me. 

Thinking about it now, he couldn't have wanted a baby with me. I agreed if anything happened, I would get an abortion. We never used protection. I also had minor problems at home. He has three other kids, so he said he couldn't handle another one. He said he wanted me to live my life first. But I think he was just trying to save his ass from his other baby's mother, but I told her I was pregnant anyway. 

To sum this all up, I had my abortion after he had me wait so long. He wasn't supportive of my emotions, and his baby's mother got pregnant the same month I had my abortion. That hurt my heart. She kept her baby, but she already has four other kids by different men. I still hurt from the situation, to this day. We still talk, but I don’t think he or anybody realizes how much this bothers me and sits on my mind, besides my therapist. All people say is that I don't need a baby, but how do they know what I was ready to do? Maybe that could've been my motivation for completing school and bettering myself, but all I do now is be depressed and let my life go by. 

I think my baby was meant to be because I felt so low around that time I got pregnant, and I had dreams before I actually became pregnant. I had a baby girl. I love my baby; I wish I could've kept her. I hope she and God forgives me. I want to heal. Reading abortion stories and venting about it lifts some weight off my shoulder.  I am also having "Replacement baby" syndrome, but he had me take a plan B pill this month. If anybody is reading this share your opinions about the situation, and you might help me find some closure. Xoxo

Age: 18
Location: Ohio
Date: November 11, 2017

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