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• /abort73

I'm sitting here crying my eyes out right now; it's happening quite a lot lately. I am the mother of two amazing children and every day I am grateful to God that I was given a chance to be a mother. I felt for so long that I would never have children because I didn't deserve to have them. I should have been punished for what I’d done. I had an abortion 11 years ago. This is something I rushed into and was pressured into. I didn't speak to any of my family and only a couple of friends. I wanted the baby so badly, but the man I was with at the time didn’t. I say ‘man,’ but he was a selfish immature boy. He pressured me into having an abortion, and I was blinded by ‘love.’ I did it to prevent him from leaving me. He left me anyway. For years afterwards I wondered what my baby would have looked like and what sex it was. I longed to be a mother, but it wasn't happening and I thought it never would because I was given a precious gift and I 'disposed' of it. I feel a longing for that child all the time. I feel incredible guilt; I have felt suicidal. Every time I look upon the faces of my two angels, I think about the other baby. Now that I am a mother and I feel this unbelievable love for my babies, it makes me feel even more devastated at what I did. I will never be able to forgive myself; I will never be able to right this wrong. I feel like there is absolutely nothing I can do to rectify this. I killed an unborn child. I wish I had never met the child's father. I wish I could see that child and beg for forgiveness, but I never can. As my children grow I will be honest with them, and tell them to never, ever do what I did, no matter what the circumstance. I am asking anyone who is contemplating having an abortion not to do it. It will haunt you for the rest of your life. Please talk to somebody, talk to family. There is always someone there who will help you. If you have an abortion, your life will never be the same again. It is not an easy decision, and in the long run you will suffer. I beg you, do not take the life of your unborn child.

Age: 35
Location: Birmingham, UK
Date: August 2, 2017