Abort73.com > Feedback > Abortion Stories > April 13, 2017

#abortionstories @abort73

I hated myself and wanted nothing more than to just be dead with my baby. So I could hold it. The damage is forever...

Abortion Story: Mena, AR

Submitted to Abort73 by a 23-year-old woman on April 13, 2017.


At the age of 20 I moved out of state to be with my boyfriend. I had plans of joining the military and hadn't planned on a baby. Honestly I didn't think I could have children, after three years in a previous relationship without pregnancies. I ended up pregnant within a month of being here. He was so excited; I was so scared. His family made me feel like I had no choice, that I had to have the baby. My dreams died, and I felt trapped. I made my appointment in secret and ran away from him and his family to come back home. I remember the day. I cried so much before, during, and after. I even asked to see it when they were done. I carried the ultrasound with me for days and cried as I held it in my hands. I refused to take the meds they gave me because I felt I deserved to feel every ounce of pain. I told the daddy I miscarried because I didn't want to hurt him. But it did anyways. He knew in his heart what I did. Our relationship will never be the same. I eventually told him and his family the truth. I went back afterwards and cried when I would look at him. I cried when He would touch me. I hated myself and wanted nothing more than to just be dead with my baby. So I could hold it. The damage is forever. A year and a half later, we got pregnant again. But I actually miscarried, and I blamed myself even more. I felt that God was punishing me for killing my first child. My boyfriend showed no emotion, and told me it was because I killed his first child. So losing one felt like losing two. I feel my guilt every day and fight the urge to die because now I have a living child. But it will never fill the hole in my heart. I would do anything to just take it all back.

Age: 23
Location: Mena, AR
Date: April 13, 2017

Get Help

If you’re pregnant and contemplating abortion, what a mercy that you’ve found this website! Abortion is not the answer—no matter what anyone is telling you.

Click here to find local help.

Click here for hundreds of real-life abortion stories.

Click here if you've already had an abortion.

Get Involved

Abortion persists because of ignorance, apathy and confusion. Abort73 is working to change that; you can help! Get started below:

In NYC, 33% Don’t Make it Out Alive.

Social Media Graphics:

Post them online to introduce your friends, fans or followers to Abort73.com.

Educate. Activate.

Abort73 Shirts:

Be a walking billboard for Abort73.com.

Love Your Unborn Neighbor

Abort73 Promo Cards:

Stash some in your wallet or purse and be ready to hand them out or strategically leave them behind.

There is Nothing Tolerant About Killing the Weak and the Helpless.

Support Abort73

Abort73 is part of Loxafamosity Ministries, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. We are almost entirely supported by private donations—all of which are tax-deductible. Click here to make a contribution.

Giving Assistant is another way to raise money for Abort73 at thousands of online retailers. Use this link to get started.