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Every day I have to wake up and realize my baby isn't here....

Abortion Story: New York

Submitted to Abort73 by a 17-year-old woman on July 7, 2016.

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I am 17 years old. I live with my parents. I don't have a job, yet I am looking. I was with my boyfriend for eight months; we have had our ups and downs. I found out I was pregnant on April 14. I was in complete shock. My boyfriend was happy and scared. I didn't have money. Neither did he. I couldn't think of murder like abortion. I though I could give this baby a better life with a different family. I told my parents on June 5, and my mom forced me to have an abortion, or I would get kicked out. I felt like maybe it was for the best. But on June 7, I went for a check up and I saw my baby on the ultrasound.  Then I felt regret coming. I love my baby. I would have always protected it. Later on, I had my abortion. After the surgery, I left my baby in heaven. I cry almost every night saying, “I’m sorry I couldn't give you a better life.” I should have never listened to my mom. I regret it since day one. I walked out empty, knowing pain. Every day I have to wake up and realize my baby isn't here. I wrote a letter to my baby. I hoped it was a boy. I hope God will forgive me for what I have done. I love this baby so much. I will always be a mommy to someone that's in heaven. My boyfriend is very upset and affected by this. This baby changed our lives. I planned to go baby shopping one day and hold him in my arms giving him love. My boyfriend and I are still together, hopefully for long. I was glad he was by my side. I know a lot of people walk out on their babies. I believe abortion is murder, but I was forced. I will never do this again.

 

Age: 17
Location: New York
Date: July 7, 2016

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