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I regret my abortion so much. I can’t go a minute without thinking about it, no matter where I am or what I am doing...

Abortion Story: Canada

Submitted to Abort73 by a 18-year-old woman on June 2, 2016.

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I had my abortion two and a half weeks ago at 18 years old. The father was a guy I spent some time with after my break up with the love of my life, who I was with for four years. I had just gotten back together with him when I found out I was pregnant. The father said he wanted to be there, but did nothing to help me. He was too jealous that I was back with my ex and lost sight of what was important. When I told my parents, they kicked me out of the house and said that if I had the baby they would not be involved in my life whatsoever. But if I had an abortion, I could come home, go to university, and do everything that was planned. My parents said awful things to me, told me that my kid was going to be a f*** up, and that I was being selfish for bringing it into the world. They didn't agree with adoption either. I couldn't come home if that's what I decided on. I hadn't finished high school yet, I was working a minimum wage job as a waitress, and could barely do anything but put gas in my car. I had no money, no education, no place to live, no supportive baby daddy, and no supportive parents. I was scared to lose my family, and I was scared to bring my kid into the world and fail. I regret my abortion so much. I can’t go a minute without thinking about it, no matter where I am or what I am doing. Even when I'm happy, I start crying because I feel guilty for being happy. Everyone in my family—I am living back home—pretends like nothing ever happened. It isn't talked about. I cry every single day. I don't think I will ever be happy again. I would do anything in this world to have my baby back. I wish I did not let fear and other people force me into this decision. I feel like somehow everything would have been okay in the end if I kept it, and that's what kills me—the not knowing. I miss being pregnant. I miss my baby. I didn't know it was possible to love a person you haven't even met so much, with everything inside of you. I hope my baby forgives me.

Age: 18
Location: Canada
Date: June 2, 2016

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