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I want to blame him, I want to hate him, I want to die, but most of all I want to reverse time. Why did I do it?...

Abortion Story: Corpus Christi, TX

Submitted to Abort73 by a 37-year-old woman on May 12, 2016.

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My life felt perfect. After several failed relationships, I felt I had finally found “the one.” I was madly in love, had a successful, well-paying career, a loving family, and wonderful friends. He told me if I ever became pregnant, everything would be okay. I trusted him; I trusted myself. I knew almost immediately. I was cooking dinner and an overwhelming feeling of nausea hit me. In an effort to prove to myself I wasn't pregnant, and that it was okay to have a glass of wine, I took a home pregnancy test. Immediately it came back positive. And immediately my life, our life, flashed in front of my eyes. Sweet baby skin, tiny footsteps on the tile floor, lovely preschool paintings, Marconi necklaces, dance lessons or football games, parent teacher conferences, prom, weddings, grandchildren. I saw it all; I saw everything except for my own strength. The “love of my life” responded by saying, “Now we will have to be connected forever.” But wait, I thought we were connected, committed, and brave enough to face this surprise! I was wrong. I want to blame him, I want to hate him, I want to die, but most of all I want to reverse time. Why did I do it? Why wasn't I strong enough? Why didn't I believe in myself? Why was I so stupid? My tears and regret are all I have left. One morning I had a baby growing safe inside me; one afternoon I killed my baby.

Age: 37
Location: Corpus Christi, TX
Date: May 12, 2016

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