Abortion Story: New Zealand
Submitted to Abort73 by a 16-year-old woman on April 28, 2016.
I don't think I will ever not think about my termination. I will always ask myself, 'What if?’ I will always think that it was just my weakness. I would have been 20 weeks today. I still cry at night. Sometimes my thoughts are so dark that I consider taking my life. I have to tell myself that I am too young to have been the best Mum I could've been. I became pregnant by an unwanted act, and I still think of how I could've gotten through this. I want so badly to just place my hand on my tummy and to feel the presence of my baby, maybe even twins as my scan showed, but I will never be able to take my choice back. I will always have that feeling of, 'I wonder what my baby would've looked like? What would my baby have enjoyed doing? What would my baby have loved to eat?’ I wonder if my baby would've been good at school. I’m crying as I write this, but I somehow have to let this out. When I try to talk to my friends, all they say is, 'It was the best choice for you!' And my family thinks I am fine with the choice I made. All I got out of this is the determination to never make the same mistake again.
Location: New Zealand
Date: April 28, 2016