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When I was 17, I gave birth and placed my daughter up for adoption. By the age of 21, I was married with a 2-year-old daughter and going through a divorce. During my divorce, I allowed myself to become pregnant. I was raising one child and didn't know how I would afford another child. After talking with a friend and the father of my unborn child, I decided that an abortion would solve the problem. The next day, I went in for an abortion. I can remember feeling so unsure and afraid. I asked the lady behind the desk if it was a baby yet and if it would feel anything. She told me that it wasn't anything yet, and it wouldn't feel anything. She told me my problem would be over in 20 minutes. It has been more than 25 years. I still remember how the abortionist told me it wouldn't be painful. He lied!! It HURT, emotionally and physically. I remember the long needle and being told to be very still. I remember the intense pain when the needle was inserted into my cervix. When the machine started, I remember a nurse asking me not to look. Because there was a clear tube that was sucking the life out of me. I didn't need to see, I felt EVERYTHING. I realized it was my baby the very second I felt my baby’s soul leaving my body. I remember crying and wanting to die because I just killed my baby. After it was done, I got up and told myself everything was all right. I turned to drinking and drugs, trying to drown out the memory of killing my unborn child. I got down to a dangerous 88 pounds. I didn’t care about anything. I went through years of self destruction. And then a friend told me about a Bible study to help heal after abortion. I went through the Bible study, called "Forgiven and Set Free,” where God's Word healed my heart. I can now says I have been forgiven by the Lord, and I forgive myself. I no longer walk in the shame and guilt that I walked in for so many years alone. I have to speak out to let women and men know they are not alone.There is hope and healing. There still is a deep sadness and loss for my baby who never had a chance in life. Through the Lord Jesus Christ, I hold my head up to speak out about how abortion hurts women, men, and children.

Age: 47
Location: Lakeland, Florida
Date: October 9, 2015