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• /abort73

I was 5 weeks, 6 days pregnant—and about to turn 41. I look young for my age, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm a mother to a 20-year-old. My husband is six years older than me. I went off the pill one year ago, thinking I couldn't get pregnant—thinking he couldn't get me pregnant. We had both tried having children previously but didn’t meet each other we until five years ago. Anyway, we were blessed but only a few days after finding out, we both started to have second thoughts—strictly due to age. We were both concerned about my health, the baby's health, and the risks. And knowing we are getting close to retirement went through our heads. I found out online that the baby was basically just a seed at this point. Terminating the pregnancy seemed like a good option for both of us, although we put only a few days thought into it and had it done ASAP. I have regretted it every day. In fact, the day before I was already getting cold feet, but he was so sure and so positive. I felt it was going to be OK. I'm so lost now. I imagine this baby all the time—trying to imagine what its purpose was for us, because I know everything has a reason. I'm not sure if I should get permanently fixed or him? But I know if I don’t, the regret I feel will make me not care if I get pregnant again. If that should happen, make no mistake, I will have the baby. And love it. No matter age, or anything. Children are a blessing and have a purpose. I have always believed this and hate myself for second guessing the situation.

Age: 41
Location: Dallas, GA
Date: August 5, 2015