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I wish I could have gone back to change my mind... Every cramp I got after that was a reminder of the cruel thing I did...

Abortion Story: California

Submitted to Abort73 by a 19-year-old woman on November 14, 2014.


I have always been so kind to others and have always put them before anything. But I finally got to the point where I was sick of that. So I decided I'd start doing better for myself. As a result, I found out I was pregnant. But due to my job and what others would think—and because I wasn't in love by the father of the baby—I decided to abort. I went to Planned Parenthood with the father of my child. But when I saw the ultrasound, I didn't want to abort anymore. As soon as the father and I drifted apart, I decided this would be the perfect opportunity to finally do something that would benefit myself. I went into the Planned Parenthood again, and this time I didn't back out. I was scared and numb—so I thought. When I went in, I was given information about how the process would go. They sent me back out to the waiting room while they fixed the room. Within five minutes, my name was called. It was time. I went in pretty nervous, and I wasn't really thinking anymore. He started to put tools into me. I couldn't stand thinking about what was happening. I suddenly began crying. Hard. The doctor asked if I needed a break, but what I really wished was that I could get the last 10 minutes back. I wish I could have gone back to change my mind and not go forth with my decision. I learned so much due to this experience. Every cramp I got after that was a reminder of the cruel thing I did. I didn't want to do it, and I knew it, but it was all so numb for me. I hope who ever reads this and is planning to terminate the baby they have growing inside them will get a better view and open their eyes. I don't know how many more women will have to go through this In order for this to be ended. Yes, it's a choice, but it's usually not the right choice. I regret this, and I live in sorrow. I still carry around my ultra sound as a reminder of my baby—my living baby that I was starting to fall in love with. I think because abortion is an option, women take it. If it wasn't an option, women would be more likely to fall in love with their baby. And keep it.

Age: 19
Location: California
Date: November 14, 2014

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