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Abortion Story: Texas

Submitted to Abort73 by a 33-year-old woman on May 19, 2014.

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On March 23, 2014, I went to the doctor for my monthly check up as I do each month. I have been on weight loss medication for about a year and had lost 119 pounds to date. In order to get my medication, I have to do a pregnancy test. I never worried because I hadn't missed my period and my son was almost 14. My husband and I had tried for years to get pregnant but never had, so when she came in and said, “Your test is positive,” I lost it. I was so lost and confused—in disbelief. I called my husband as I got to my truck and was crying so hard. He said nothing. I got home and he said, “Who's the dad?” Really?! He was just in shock—about to turn 40 and already having our son and four more kids between 14-21. “We just can’t… I’m too old… but I will support you decision.” I was so lost. We went to a clinic for an initial visit, knowing I couldn't do it. We went back the next day to do it. I cried and cried and said, “I can’t.” He said, “Its OK, it will be OK.” I did it. I will never be the same. Two months later, I’m lost. I’m sad, mad, hurt, empty. I say I’m sorry a million times a day, and I want my baby back. It gets harder every day. March 27, 2014 is a day that I will never forget. It haunts me. I have nightmares of what I did and can't vacuum my house. December 5, 2014 is the day my baby should have come into the world to have the life it deserved. I thought I would be OK. I'm not. I will never forgive myself. I'm sorry and wish I could go back—not for me but for my baby that I should have protected.

Age: 33
Location: Texas
Date: May 19, 2014

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