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A year ago today, I made a decision that forever changed my life and how I think. In May 2012, I found out that I was given the opportunity to carry a precious baby. I was so happy, but my boyfriend, not so much. We had just moved in together and just started our lives together. The night I told him, the first thing he told me was, "I will pay for the abortion." I told him that's not even an option. I said maybe adoption. I called that next day and made my OB/GYN appointment for 3 weeks l ate. As those weeks passed, my boyfriend and I got closer, talking about what we can do for our baby. We started to buy things like a stroller and portable crib. We were hoping it was a boy. We went to our first appointment. I remember feeling the cold gel the nurse used so we could see our little one and hear him/her. The little heart beat I heard was so fast, going 157 times a minute! We walked out of there with our ultrasounds in hand. As we drove home, my boyfriend mentioned abortion again. We fought and argued about it for another week. Then my mom tells me it would be the right option. Finally, to shut everyone up, against my own wishes, I set up the appointment for the abortion. I didn't want to, but I had family and him telling me I needed to.  A week later, we went to the appointment. I remember it like it was yesterday. I walked in and waited for hours. When I went to sign the papers, the counselor asked me if this is what I wanted? I said yes. I lied right there. As I go through all the proper steps, I keep telling myself to turn around and walk out that door.

They called my name clear as day with 7 other girls. They took us into a room and told us to change into the gown and have a seat. The nurse came in with cups of pills for all of us and told us how everything would work. After we took our pills, one by one, they took us to the procedure room. When it was my turn, I laid down on the cold table and put my legs up, crying. I knew this wasn't what I wanted, but I let them think it was what I needed. I could feel everything.

To this day, I regret my decision. I didn't want this. If you make the decision to have a abortion, just make sure it is what you want and not what others want because I cry every day, thinking about how old my little one would be. If I wouldn't have had the abortion, my baby would have been 6 months old this month!

Age: 19
Location: Missouri
Date: June 28, 2013