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I was 20 years old when I began dating a sophomore in my Microbiology class. We started out as lab partners, but by Halloween, we were spending every day and night together. By New Years, we thought we were in love and would be together forever. We even talked about how one day we would have kids. Little did we know that “one day” was just around the corner. In February of 2012, she found out she was pregnant. Some people have dramatic stories of how they found out or telling the other one; ours was rather boring. She took a test in my bathroom and when we saw the + sign pop up, we laid on my bed for hours, not saying a word. When we finally decided to talk about it, we decided on something we never thought we would. We were both Christians, having gone to church all of our lives; but the thought of a baby ruining our plans for our lives… How could we have been so careless? After a couple weeks, the procedure was done and we tried to move past it. We never would really talk about it, and by Spring Break, we had broken up. I see her every once in a while on campus, where we quickly look away. I cannot speak for her, but I regret the decision that was made. I never told my parents what happened, and probably never will; but as I sit here typing this, I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have that five month old baby beside me right now. Would it have been a boy? Would I have made a good father? I can’t answer those questions, and as Tim McGraw puts it in Red Rag Top “there’s no such thing as what might have been. It’s a waste of time and will drive you out of your mind.” I cannot tell you what decision to make when you are faced with a similar crisis. I can just tell you to not rush things, talk to each other, and talk to your parents. You may think there is no other way, but a lot of times there is. You just have to look for it. You don’t think it will affect you…especially if you are the guy right? You aren’t the one with the growing baby inside of you; you aren’t the one who has to go through the procedure. Well it affected me; I lay awake at night wondering if he had her eyes or my dimples, wishing I could go back in time and just say “What if there’s another way.”

Age: 21
Location: Arkansas
Date: February 6, 2013