Abortion Story: Upstate New York
Submitted to Abort73 by a 52-year-old man on August 20, 2012.
Post Abortion Syndrome isn't reserved just for women, I have been dealing with my experience for 34 years. I personally killed two beautiful children. How do I know they were beautiful? Because the third one died in my arms and the fourth is now 21, and a handsome young man. They were all beautiful, I know it. Late 1970s, Upstate NY: my parents went out of town; my grandparents with whom we lived were in Florida on vacation. My grandfather was a minister, Methodist, and my mother and father were not active in the church. My girlfriend was older and maybe more experienced than me. I was a virgin. We got pregnant that night and found out weeks later. She was a Catholic teenager and couldn't bear the thought of having a baby. I was scared too. We went 50 miles away to Spring Valley where for $200 we paid for the [abortion]. I remember the outside of the building and the inside also, clearly. I remember the drive home, quiet. I remember no bath for her for two weeks. The bleeding, no sex, the quiet shame.
Then a year or so later it happened again. Quiet. Then more people around me had abortions, friends and family. Quietly. I remember and wonder, calculate their ages and imagine. Time went by. I got married and we had a beautiful boy in 1990. In 1997, she got pregnant, had trouble because of me I think, and delivered two months early. In treatment for blood pressure he had a brain hemorrhage, and lived in neo-natal ICU for almost a week. We had to choose to take him off life support and hold him until he passed. It took hours and changed every hour of the rest of my life. I saw him look right into my eyes as they lifted him out of the unit and put him in my arms. The other two were just like him I am sure. I remember the smell of the plastic tubes, like celery, and the room around me. Nice nurses doing this every day. I couldn't. We buried him next to my father in law. Compartmentalize your emotions and thoughts, and you will be OK they say. I don't think so. Thirty-four years later. Still the same...
Abortion is pre-meditated murder. I know.
Location: Upstate New York
Date: August 20, 2012
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