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• /abort73

When I found out I was pregnant, I was in such shock (though) I kind of knew I may have been. I had the symptoms. I was eating everything! I was having unprotected sex with my partner, but using Plan B as a back up. I have children already, an 11-year-old and twin girls that are 7. When I found out, I didn't know what to tell the father. We weren't in a relationship, but he is the father of my twin girls. He seemed okay with having [the abortion]. I already had my mind made up. But a piece of me didn't want to do it. It felt like a dream, it felt unreal. So the following day I had an ultrasound. They told me I was 5-weeks and would have to come back in a few days to have the procedure done. The nurse let me look at the sonogram. I have been pregnant before, and that was supposed to be a happy time for me! Well it wasn't. I looked and felt so sad and messed up. It felt so unreal. After leaving there, knowing I had to come back in a few days and have it done, I touched my belly and now understood why I was eating all crazy and everything in the house! And I knew that I wasn't going to keep it, already having children and not being in a relationship with their father. I knew this would be the right choice. I take care of my 11-year-old by myself. His father is not around, and I didn't want to take the chance of that happening again. I felt that it was the right thing to do. On 2/12/2012, yes Valentines day! the worst day ever to have it done, but that's the day it fell on, I had the procedure. I went back, they said I was 6-weeks, explained the procedure, put an IV in and before I knew it, it was all over. I felt so ashamed and empty. I kept thinking that I just threw a baby away, like it was nothing. It was living inside me, and I just threw it away! I wanted it back! It was too late. I have been so depressed since then. I went back for my follow up two days ago, and the nurse told me everything looked good. I saw the sonogram and [the womb] was emptied, empty like me. I keep telling myself it was for the better, but inside I know it was wrong. If you are planning on having an abortion, take a few days or a week to think about it. Don't rush into it like I did... take your time and think about it. My baby would have been born on October 11, 2012. Now I have two dates that I will remember for ever. Emotionally it hurts. I don't think this pain will ever go away!

Age: 27
Location: Baltimore, MD
Date: February 26, 2012