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• /abort73

This is such a heart wrenching story, I don't know where to begin. This happened last year, in June 2011, yet it feels just like yesterday. I was living with my parents and brothers down in Florida. I was in my second year of college, and my life was just terrible. I was so unhappy and my parents had all my control and freedom. Soon after, I met my husband (then boyfriend), and he just pulled me right out of this depressing hole of emotions that I was in. He was like my guardian angel. We quickly fell in love and I got pregnant in march of 2011.

Being pregnant and having a wonderful man in my life made me the happiest person in the world. I did a complete 180 and my life changed for the better. Thinking that my mom went through the same thing I did (abortion at 19), I thought she would've understood my position. My mom and I never got along and we always fought... Anyway I remember I wrote a note telling her I was pregnant and that I was going to move in with my husband and we were keeping the baby. When she read that, she was mortified, and she just sat there and cried. She yelled at me and said such horrible things. When my dad came home, we told him, and he gave me an ultimatum. My mom and his exact words were, " You can either keep the bastard child and we cut off all ties with you, or you have an abortion and everything goes back to normal. You can have a lot of freedom."

To this day, those words still ring in my ears. My parents are liars, and I believed them. I really thought that things would get better. So I listened to them, which is the biggest mistake I ever made. I remember the day before my abortion, June 04 2011, I went to a park and sat by the lake with my husband. And we just held each other and cried. He didn't want me to do it, and even I didn't want to do it. But I foolishly thought that this would improve relations with my family. June 05 2011 2:30 p.m: My mom was acting like she cared, and she was so buddy, buddy with me. I know she was relieved because her, my dad, and their family reputation was saved. I was throwing up like crazy on the car ride there and she acted like she cared. I was so scared and I didn't want to do this. I freaking did it for my parents, and they just took this and stomped on it.

Anyway, we got there at 2:30 p.m and there were so many teenage girls there, young ones especially. We sat there and waited till 4 for the doctor. It was the worst, agonizing wait, and my mother was trying to chat me up to relieve my tensions, which was only making it worse, since I knew she didn't care. When I got in the back I was the only one doing surgical; the rest of the girls were doing the pill. My mom told me that she had done the pill and it's the worst experience ever so she wanted me to be asleep. I remember sitting on the bed and it was freezing. The doctor came in and told me I was 9 weeks. I wanted to speak up so bad and say this isn't what I wanted, but my nerves got the best of me, and I simply fell asleep. It was over with and I woke up and cried and cried and cried. At that point I hated my mother. I felt so disgusted with myself, and I felt I deserved all the punishment in the world. I can't really remember what happened after that, but I know my aunt came three days after. I was so weak and my mom kept telling everyone I had hernias. There is so much more to this story but I couldn't possibly type a book for you now. The only person that helped me cope is my husband. My dad wanted to know why I was "moping around" just two days after my abortion. They are so heartless and I will never forget, only forgive. The worst part of the story is that my life got worse after the abortion, not better like they had promised. I was basically on house arrest by them, and I never got to go anywhere. They were more strict and although we had good times, the only thing I can remember is the negative, which happened more often.

I got fed up of my parents and their ways, so I eloped with my husband and ran away to New York. We are so happy here, and I have family that backs me up, which is more comforting (knowing that all of my mothers family calls me a slut and a whore and all these things.) We have been trying to have a baby, but its just not happening. It's been four months since we've been trying, but I still have high hopes. I regret my decision, but I'm glad [I've now taken] the reigns of my life into my own hands. Thank you for reading my story.

Age: 20
Location: Richmond Hill, NY
Date: February 16, 2012