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• /abort73

As I'm writing this, with tears coming down my face, I am also helping myself. I have had a total of 5 pregnancies. I have one 8 year old, 3 abortions, and just found out I am pregnant. The first abortion I had when I was 18, 5 months after my first child was born. There was no way my boyfriend at the time and I could deal with 2 infants. We were young and struggling. I didn't know the impact of abortion until the 2nd and 3rd time. After the 2nd one, I couldn't stop crying. I was about 6 weeks pregnant, and I walked in on my boyfriend with another woman, and my son in a playpen sleeping next to them. The horror. The depression with catching him cheating and having an abortion had me over the edge. It hurt the 2nd time emotionally and physically. I couldn't stop bleeding. The 3rd time happened with the same man, and I took the abortion pills. Going through it at home alone is tragic. No one there for you, and every time you go on the toilet, the blood clots fall out and you know that somewhere you are flushing YOUR child, that YOU created down the toilet, like its nothing. It's breaking me up now as I'm writing this. Six years passed since my last abortion, and now I find myself in a situation I am not proud of. Grant it, I'm 26, have a good job, am in school and have my own place....BUT I got pregnant by a man who I don't even love. I broke up with him and then a week later, I find out I'm pregnant. What to do?? I have weighed options, and at the end, I know God would NOT allow this to happen for no reason. I have gone 6 years without pregnancy scares, and I rarely use birth control, and I am sexually active. But why did God allow me to get pregnant by a man I didn't even really know? God has a purpose. I refuse to be with a man who will not treat me right, so I will NOT go back to my ex just because I am pregnant. This is a gift from God. Abortion crossed my mind once, then it forever left. I could NEVER forgive myself. I would go over the edge. I have one great 8 year old boy, and now, he will be an older brother. My family may not be happy about it since I grew up in a very strict household... but they will understand. God let's things happen for a reason. I tell myself that every time I cry, every time I have doubt. The child you are carrying WILL make a difference if you let him/her. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him"..... Just have faith. My due date is August 3 2012. I am about 11 weeks. Although doubts may come, and tears fall almost everyday....the strength and support that I do have to get through this outweighs all.

Age: 26
Location: Maryland/DCMaryland/DC
Date: January 7, 2012