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I aborted my baby at 6 weeks pregnant when I was 19 years old. I came from a family that would have humiliated and shamed me for being pregnant, would have used it as an excuse to exercise abusive power over me, in addition to the fact that I had a horrible excuse of a “boyfriend” who was already onto the next one when I found out I was pregnant with his child. I was a college student, and afraid I would destroy my future by having my baby before I could even secure a full time job. Growing up as an emotionally and physically abused child who saw my co-dependent mom move in with a highly abusive step father, I correlated being a single mother with failure. I just didn’t know any different.

Fast forward years later, I was successful, had a great job, a college degree, and married. We got pregnant, and the baby was lost to a miscarriage. I was devastated, depressed, and emotionally destroyed. While miscarriages are quite common and NOT the fault of women as some backwards people assume, I’m still convinced to this day, that was my penance for killing my baby. I went on to be blessed with two successful pregnancies and now have two amazing children. My cup now runneth over with the forgiveness and grace of the Powerful Creator.

If I could go back and talk to that scared 19 year old, who was simply doing what she thought was best to protect herself, I would have told her she is far more powerful than she realized. Now, I have to forever comfort that inner 19 year old, who regrets destroying her baby because she believed the people around her who told her she was not capable, instead of believing in her own power to control her destiny. Please keep in mind – keeping your baby and defying the odds of nay-sayers, is the most powerful FEMINIST decision you can make.

We do not treat single pregnant women very well, and too many men believe its not their issue when in reality they are equally as culpable for not using protection in the case of abortions. We need to end abortion by changing our society to ENABLE women to realize their strength and power, and equally hold men accountable for their share in abortions. My case is a classic example of social conditioning gone wrong.

Age: 36
Location: Detroit, MI
Date: November 30, 2011