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• /abort73

I’m a 22-year-old student who has been with her partner on and off for about 2 years. I got pregnant unexpectedly and unfortunately, I had just lost my job had no money, and my family was dealing with other issues. So it would have been hard to keep the baby although I really wanted to and told myself if I ever was to get pregnant, I would never have an abortion. My partner told me that we [shouldn't] bring a child into this world.

My parents knew I was pregnant and said they would be there for me, whatever choice I made but, really, the one person I wanted there for me was my partner, who I hardly heard from. Well, the choice was made. The best thing to do was get an abortion. I woke up early in the morning. My father came with me because they said I needed a driver. When we reached the destination, there was a women nearby with a sign saying ‘choose life’.  When I walked in the building, they made me sign in and fill out a lot of paper work. I was sent to the back with three other girls doing the same thing. They gave us some medicine to help us relax. As we walked down stairs, I saw more girls sitting on a couch all drugged up, waiting to get it over with. I changed into a paper sheet and sat with them, waiting for my medication to kick in. A few were crying, but most, including me were hiding it, but no matter how much we tried to hide, our faces all told the same story.

I walked into a smaller room where there was an operating table. By this time I was in a calm and relaxed state from the medicine. All I remember in that room was laying down and the anesthesiologist telling me who he was, then boom it was all done. I was so tired that I could barely sit up. I don’t even remember walking to the car. I slept all day. The drugs must have had a very strong effect on me because the sadness didn't kick in until the next day. I woke up crying. All I could think about is what could have been and the father of my baby didn’t even call to see how I was. It can never be compared to any sort of loss I have faced yet in my life. My partner is of no help at all. To him it was just something we had to do, and now it's done. We text here and there but we have yet to talk about what was done. I hate myself for loving everyone else more than my own unborn child and for putting everyone else's feelings first, instead of my own. I don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself. 

Age: 22
Location: Atlanta, GA
Date: October 6, 2011