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I have carried so much emotional pain since my abortion, but since there are many stories about the emotional pain, I want to share the physical and mental trauma associated with abortion. I hope that whoever reads this can combine this true story with the emotional stories to help young women see past the lie that "Abortion is a safe, painless, medical procedure." I had two abortions at two different clinics and can tell you that it was the same at both places.

The first thing anybody asked about was money. "It costs $250 to get an abortion and we only take cash." You make your appointment, pay your deposit and, if you live in a state without consultation laws, come back the next day. If you do live in a state with consultation laws, you sign a paper stating that you spoke with a counselor.

The conversation:
HER: "Did you come here on your own accord and were not forced to do this?"
ME: "Yes." I lied, of course there was pressure, but if they were real counselors, they would know that an abused woman would lie. It takes a much longer conversation to get to the bottom of why a woman is getting an abortion.
HER: "Okay, here's a pamphlet, we'll see you tomorrow."

On the day of the abortion, you pay the rest of the fee (in cash, of course) and get ushered into a separate waiting area, away from any support and unable to just walk out if you change your mind without having to be accosted by TWO different staff members. After about an hour, you are ushered into the procedure room. The room is NOT like a surgical suite. It has plain wooden cabinets and the table is only covered by paper, not sterile sheets. You are directed to put your feet into stirrups and then the doctor comes in.

The doctors were cold and told me to suck it up, we will be done in a minute. "Hold still or you'll just make it worse on yourself." Now, they say it is painless or just causes a minimal amount of discomfort. Imagine having your abdomen stabbed and the knife twisted for ten minutes, followed by the worst cramps you have ever felt in your life. Just as coldly, the doctor leaves.

You are ushered into a "recovery room" which is nothing but shabby recliners. You, along with the other women, sit dazed and crying (and, yes, at both clinics, everybody was crying, even the stoic looking ones in the waiting room) until it's time to show the staff member your pad before leaving. Nothing to check if the baby was completely aborted, such as an ultrasound, no check to see how you feel, you are just told you're okay and to go home.

It is awful, painful, humiliating and the emotional pain never goes away.

Age: 36
Location: Indiana
Date: August 25, 2011