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• /abort73

I come from a family where the first born has always had a baby by the age of 18. When I was younger, I told myself I don't want to be that person and struggle like my mother had as a single mom. After graduating high school, I ended up moving out and getting an apartment with my best friend. In May of 2006, at the age of 18, I found out I was pregnant. I'd had a little too much to drink and called up the kid that I had a lot of feelings for and we slept together. When I told that person I was pregnant, I was called every name in the book. It wasn't his, blah, blah, blah.  So I felt pressured to take care of the baby on my own, just like mother had done. I was working at an assisted living home, barely making it on my own, let alone bring someone else in the world that would depend on me. At the time, I thought it was the best thing for me and the baby. In a matter of a week, I found out I was pregnant, spent the night in the hospital because of complications (I had really bad crapping), and made my appointment for my abortion. The day of my abortion, the person that was supposed to take me canceled on me and when I tried to wake my roommate up to have someone there with me, she wouldn't budge so I had to go by myself (I think that was the hardest, not even having someone there with you). I sat there with no support and just had thoughts running through my head. I had to have an ultrasound and chose not to see the pictures. I sat in the room crying my eyes out and the nurse was the only person around to tell me it was okay. It has been 5 years now and I regret the choice I made. I wish I would have actually sat back and thought about it. I became so depressed that I had to take depression pills. I don't really have anyone to talk to about how I feel. My parents don't even know so when I do get sad, I have to hide my tears. (as i sit in my room typing this the tears are just rolling). I don't regret much in my life but this I really do. When this first happened, I couldn't even be around kids, and I love kids. I couldn't watch anything on TV about babies without shedding a tear. As the years have gone by, it has become a little easier. I can watch shows about kids and be around them. Most of my friends have kids. But I do have my really bad days where i just cry and don't want to get out of bed. But in the end it was my decision and I wish I could change it sometimes... so for the girls reading this my advice to you is, please think this through. Don't make any rush decisions.

Age: 23
Location: Detroit, MI
Date: June 3, 2011