Abortion Story: Massachusetts
Submitted to Abort73 by a 37-year-old woman on April 20, 2011.
I had an abortion on March 16, 2007. I was 33 at the time. It was my first pregnancy. I had a good job, was independent, and financially stable. I have no history of substance abuse or mental health issues, and I have a large support group. I made the decision, which I regret deeply, out of fear and weakness. My child's father, who was going through a divorce at the time, didn't want to have any more children, and encouraged me to terminate the pregnancy. I never expected that response from him, and I never expected the subsequent weakness I displayed from myself. While I've always been pro-choice, I never thought I would face the decision myself. I made the decision in a daze. It wasn't because of him, it was because I was weak. I was faced with the prospect of raising a baby alone, and I froze. I couldn't see how it would work - starting with how to pay for daycare. All of the financial stability in the world goes out the window with an unplanned pregnancy. I did consider adoption, for a nanosecond, and quickly dismissed it. It's funny how adoption was never really a consideration for me, the same way abortion is not for some. On the day of my abortion, a man dressed in a grim reaper costume was walking around outside with some kind of sign. I can't really remember what it said, but I'll never forget him. The next most significant memory is the woman who conducted the pre-abortion ultra sound asking me if I wanted to know if it was twins or not. Even writing that now makes me throw up in my mouth. The pre-abortion counseling was helpful - only in the sense that it reinforced to me that I had all of the facts going it. The woman was quite impressed with my knowledge about the procedure, the numbers, the resources, etc. I'm quite a researcher, and knew all there was to know before I went in. At least so I thought. The bottom line is I regret nothing more. I am disgusted with myself, devastated about about the decision I made, and silently dying over it. I would change it in a second, and would do anything to make it different. I don't know what the right decision for anyone else is, but I know it was the wrong decision for me. I love you baby.
Date: April 20, 2011