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Birth Story: North Carolina

Submitted to Abort73 by a 24-year-old woman on September 19, 2012.

In 2008, I was a female Marine in Okinawa, JP. My boyfriend of 6 months was also a Marine. He outranked me so our relationship was kept in secret. We were sexually active and never used protection. We were carefree and stupid. I was the naive type. "He's the one, he told me he LOVES me." Well, long story short, I went to medical on base because I wasn't feeling well. The Naval doctor ordered me to take a pregnancy test just to err on the side of caution. I sat there waiting on the results, never thinking it would ever come back positive. After all, I was untouchable, right? WRONG. The nurse called me back to show me the results. She said nothing as if I should know what 2 lines in the little box means. I had no clue. In fact, I assumed it was negative, because I figured a positive test would look more like +. Much to my dismay, I was indeed pregnant. I was instantly prescribed prenatal vitamins.

Moments after getting the news, I called my boyfriend's work place there on base, expecting to hear "it's gonna be OK." Again, I was disappointed to hear that he was busy and could not come to the phone. It wasn't until a few hours later that we spoke in person, behind closed doors. It was at that moment I realized who my boyfriend really was. A coward. He said over and over again, "I don't want to marry you… I don't want to marry you." It should have broken my heart, but somehow I had a new, more important person to think about. My unborn child. While my boyfriend cried and swore the thing wasn't his and that I was a cheating whore, I told him I didn't want anything from him. No child support or anything. I just wanted him to know that I was going to keep it. Once he knew I was not getting an abortion, he lost it. He hated the thought of HIS love-child living without a father. My ex-boyfriend moved 6,000 miles away from me to California where we never spoke again—not by phone or in person, anyway. I was left all alone with this shame and guilt. I was ridiculed by my superiors and judged relentlessly. I never heard it, but I could feel it in my bones.

I went to a couple of doctor appointments, the final one being my external heartbeat reading. At 8 weeks pregnant, a heartbeat is clearly heard—only my nurse felt around my tummy with the jellied wand for too long with no reading. I knew something was wrong. No heartbeat is not a good sign. Then I was sent to an ultrasound tech where they tried to get a visual on my baby. Only, nothing could be found. When a woman has a positive pregnancy test and there's no baby, one tends to expect an ectopic pregnancy (baby developing outside uterus, potentially fatal to mother). Here I am feeling a whirlwind of emotions. I'm told "not to worry." Another appointment is scheduled.

I never made it to that appointment because one dreary Saturday morning, I was woken by profuse amounts of blood flowing from below. I knew that what had fallen into the toilet was my miscarried child. I was rushed to the ER by a friend who had experienced a miscarriage. Thank God for her being there with me. With little emotion, the on call nurse removed the miscarried baby and handed me a pad. I was sent on my way feeling I had done something to cause this.

My point is that no matter how your baby comes to be conceived, whether you have drunk and unprotected sex one night or have unprotected sex with someone you think loves you, the baby in your womb has a purpose. Abortion was the option presented to me by many. In my heart, I knew I could never accept that choice. A miscarriage is devastating, but an abortion will psychologically destroy you and leave you wondering, "what if I hadn't gone through with it?" Don't leave yourself wondering what if. Trust God to lead you and your unborn child.

 

Age: 24
Location: North Carolina
Date: September 19, 2012

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