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Birth Story: Spencer, Iowa

Submitted to Abort73 by a 24-year-old man on April 24, 2012.

Twenty-four years ago, He and She got earth shattering news. This young couple, He in college, and She struggling with drugs and alcohol, had become pregnant. This was not the ideal situation for a child to come into. The relationship was already starting to fracture. An abortion would be the simplest answer. The problem would be gone. He and She could forget the incident. He could finish his schooling, and live out his life as a successful lawyer. She could continue with the party, and maybe clean herself up some day. Besides, if It was born into the current situation, It would only know dysfunction and heartache. Aborting It was obviously the best option for everyone involved.

Man slid the needle into his arm, hand trembling, and pressed the plunger down. Melting into the bench as the drug entered his body. It was way more than he had ever done before. This much in Man’s system at once could easily kill him. He could only hope. Pain defined Man’s life. He was an accident from the beginning. Mother had abandoned him before he was two. Father was always there, but had high hopes and dreams for Man’s life. Man had tried to meet Father’s dreams, in turn shutting out his own. In the end, it seemed that Man could fulfill no ones dreams with anything but failure. A mistake at conception, and a failure at life. Man had never been wanted. Man had never known love. Man had only known pain. Pain. And more pain. More than anyone could deal with on their own, so Man turned to drugs, and a path of self destruct. Eventually, Woman, the one ray of hope in his life, also walked away, leaving Man alone in his pain. Eventually was this day, that left Man sitting on a bench, wishing he had never been born. Waiting for the drug to do its work and finally let him die.

He and She were quite progressive thinkers. It was growing inside of She, and It was quite alive. It was not a cancer to be removed and discarded. It was a life that deserved a chance at life, no matter how dismal the situation may be. One day She gave birth. It became Child, She became Mother and He became Father. It was not long before Mother realized that the drugs and alcohol were out of control. Her boyfriend was abusive, and she could not escape. She could not care for Child who’s life was in danger each day. Father knew this too. The courts came to an arrangement. Father would raise Child, and Mother would have full visitation rights. However, as Child grew into Boy, Mother stayed away. She wanted to keep him far from the reach of the darkness of her fight with drugs and alcohol. Every year on Boy’s birthday Mother would isolate herself and drink herself into unconsciousness. Boy never knew that Mother’s absence was in his best interest, and began to wonder. What horrible flaws did he possessed that could possibly be keeping Mother away? From an early age, this question plagued him.

Meanwhile, Father left college with a degree in pre-law and went to work at whatever he could to provide for Boy. He loved Boy with all of his heart and wanted Boy to have the best life possible. Father pushed Boy to do well, and was very proud. However, in his insecurity, Boy did not see things in this light. Boy saw a father that could not be pleased. Boy saw that performance earned love. As time moved on, Father fell in love with and married New-Mother, a beautiful and kind young woman. New-Mother had never been a mother before, and did the best she could with Boy, despite losing her own mother at the age of five. Father, New-Mother, and Boy had become family. Brothers soon entered the picture, and the family grew into the portrait of the perfect family. Perfect, except for the ever flawed, and unwanted Boy. He was not part of the plan. He was the accident of Father’s past. But with a smile, boy performed and earned his share of love. Growing from Boy to Man, and dealing with his pain as secretly and silently as he could.

Joshua stood at the altar and could not hold back the tears any longer. How could it have come to this, and all in such a short time? Joshua’s knees buckled and his shoulders shook with sobs of joy. He looked out through his tears and saw Father sitting there, eyed beaming with the pride that had always been there. To Father’s left was New-Mother, this day was the day that all of her mothering had lead up to. This was the day that tells a mother, well done. Sitting hand and hand with New-Mother was Mother. She had been clean for over two decades. Losing child had pushed her to the deepest of darkness, and she had fought her way out so she could be Mother-Again to Joshua. The room was filled with faces. Friends. Family. Brothers. Sisters. Joshua was loved. Joshua had not failed.

As Joshua stared at the back doors, waiting for them to open, his mind went back to that dark day when he was Man. That dark day he saw no hope and chose to end it all. The day Man had tried to die. Tried and failed. He remembered the day Man got help. The day Man chose to change. The day Man chose to become Joshua. He chose life.

Joshua could barely stand the anticipation, waiting for Love to come through those doors. Love had once been Woman, but Joshua had chosen to see her as Love. Then she had chosen to come back to him. Then they had chosen to be together forever. The doors opened and Love entered. She was beautiful, dressed in white. Something this good could have only come to him by God and His Grace. Joshua couldn’t ask for a more beautiful life.

Man chose darkness and destruction. Man chose to end life because it was his to end. But then Man chose life because it was his to live. Life is shaped by every choice we make. But Joshua would never have been. Man could have never chosen life over death if, back at the beginning, She and Him had made the choice for It.

I know this story well. You see, I am Joshua, and I am pro-choice. Each Man and each Woman should be given the choice to choose between life and death on their own. Because it belongs to them, not to She and Him.

Age: 24
Location: Spencer, Iowa
Date: April 24, 2012

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