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I will always be missing something. I always carry with me that innocent, small love that never got to be...

Abortion Story: UK

Submitted to Abort73 by a 23-year-old woman on July 6, 2016.

I will always carry this with me. I will forever be unable to forgive myself. I was 16 years old and everyone says how it stays with you. But there's no way to explain how true that comment is. I'm not going to make up an excuse as to why I went through with the procedure. I was young, yes. I was not working. I was living at home. But the fact I did not fight for someone who had instantly become my responsibility is the main reason I will carry such self hate. My family had told me how I would have no where to go, how I had no choice. Being naive, I thought they knew best. I still remember the stale hospital smell. The horrible green color of my hospital room. How I cried silently until the doctors put me to sleep. How the feeling of guilt and self hate consumed me when I woke. And the worst part for me was taking a bath. How I knew how empty I was. How I would no longer be a mother. How could I be capable of such an inhuman act? For me, I've truly never gotten over this. And afterwards no one talked to me about it. No one cared how I felt. And sadly I'm still unable to talk to those who are closest to me about it. I will always be missing something. I always carry with me that innocent, small love that never got to be.

Age: 23
Location: UK
Date: July 6, 2016

Search by related keyword: Young / Self Hate / Family / Hospital / Inhuman

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