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When I saw my baby come out of me, I instantly felt my soul leave with it. I’m traumatized about it forever...

Abortion Story: Orange County, CA

Submitted to Abort73 by a 29-year-old woman on February 24, 2016.

It’s only been two days since I made the BIGGEST mistake of my life. I was 8-weeks pregnant, and I decided to have a medication abortion at home—which I thought would be the best option because of the privacy. I’ve been separated from my husband for about two years now, on and off. I met a great guy in between the break up, and I got pregnant—which was a miracle. My husband and I couldn’t get pregnant in the nine years we were together. We tried everything you could think of. So yes, this was a miracle but at the same time I panicked—thinking "this is not the right time, I cant have it, what would my parents think and my friends, and my husband’s family. I cant hurt them like this, since I was planning on filing my divorce. So I got an abortion.

I waited hours to be seen at Planned Parenthood, which was very odd. I had this evil careless feeling from the girls there from the moment I walked in, but I still waited as I was so desperate to take care of it. I did some research before I went in for the medication. I will never forget a blog I came across from this one lady about her experience with medical abortion—"the pill abortion.” I was horrified by her story, but I thought to myself that it can’t be that bad. Well let me tell you something, it was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. At that very moment, I knew I was paying for the decision I made. I prayed to god at that moment for forgiveness, in tears of pain

I wish this on no one; don’t do it, PLEASE!!!! I promise, you will hurt physically and emotionally. When I saw my baby come out of me, I instantly felt my soul leave with it. I’m traumatized about it forever. I’m having trouble just stepping into the restroom. It is NOT worth it. if I could go back and take it back and have my baby, I would. I wouldn’t care what ANYBODY had to say! Now I must pay the consequences and pray for forgiveness. God puts us in certain situations for a reason. Don’t give up; you will make it just fine. I haven't had much sleep just thinking of my baby and hoping god will give me one more chance in the future to have another baby.

Age: 29
Location: Orange County, CA
Date: February 24, 2016

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