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• /abort73

My period was late, and I figured I was pregnant instantly. It was about 2 am when I was up thinking, what if I could be pregnant? So I took a test. It came back positive. I immediately started crying out of fear because of the strict household I lived in. I knew my mom wouldn't accept it. I was about five weeks when I found out I was pregnant. I was excited on the inside—holding my belly, talking to my belly, taking pics with my belly. My boyfriend wanted me to keep it so bad. I knew I had to tell my mom eventually, so I did about a week and a half later. She basically convinced me to get an abortion. I wasn't strong enough to tell her no! I was scared of her. I lived in her house, drove her car, ate the food she cooked. I mean, I just didn't want to disappoint her. Plus, my boyfriend and I were far from financially stable enough to raise a baby on our own. And I definitely didn't want to go to high school pregnant. I was such an honors kid; it would just be disappointing to all. But looking back, who cares?!!!!!! I will never see those people again! I always had hopes of being moved in with my husband, then having kids, but things are so unexpected in life. At about 8 or 9 weeks, my mom took me to Planned Parenthood. My boyfriend met me there. He didn't talk to me at all because he was so mad I was really going to kill our child. After the procedure was done, we both cried in each other’s arms. My mom showed no emotion. I'm upset with myself for letting her determine if my first child would be able to live or not. I regret not being strong enough. It is now August, and my baby would have been due. I would have been a mother. Seven months later, and I'm still hurt. I'll always be hurt. That was my first baby, OUR first baby. I believe it was a girl too. I would have had a daughter. I miss her so much. I'm so sorry.

Age: 18
Location: Maryland
Date: August 19, 2015