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I was raped... but I kept my babies. I gave my life up, for a new and better one!...

Birth Story: Canada

Submitted to Abort73 by a 23-year-old woman on September 30, 2017.

I was young and had everything—a great-paying job and no worries—until I was irresponsible and got my IUD taken out. I didn’t use the pill because I thought I wouldn't get pregnant! I went out a lot, trusted people. I went to a house party with my friend. It was fun until the sun came out. She went to bed with a guy, and I went to sleep down stairs. I knew the guys there; I trusted them. We worked together, so I went to sleep. I wasn’t that drunk, but I passed out. As I was waking up, I had a blurred vision of a guy on top of me. I looked to my side and saw my pants. I started pushing him away from me, but I felt him ejaculate inside of me. I pushed him off and struggled to get my pants on. He didn't say anything; he just lay there like I deserved it.

I was raped while I was passed out. I trusted him; I’d known him for a long time. I walked outside. I’ve never felt more gross in my life! I went to work; days past. I was so sick at work. When I got home, my stomach was in pain, so I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I immediately called my friend, who is a mother and told her the news. There was no support; she told me to get an abortion. I wanted to tell the father, but he had no interest in me! I felt so hurt by everyone; I was so scared. It felt like my life had ended!

I didn't tell my mother or my dad. But I did tell my older sister; she instantly offered to take the child and raise it as her own!  I went to the doctor’s and he asked what I wanted to do with it. I said I wanted to keep it, but I felt incredibly sick. I went back to work and started wanting an abortion more than ever. On the fourth day I was like, “Nope, I'm not ready! I'm single and I have no mutual support!” I hesitated for a while, thought about it, and kept changing my mind. I'd love my baby, then I'd want an abortion! I felt so alone and helpless. I felt disappointed and ashamed of myself, as if everyone thought the worst of me.

I returned and got my ultrasound. I was pregnant with TWINS. My heart stopped and I cried and cried. Word got out that I was pregnant, and didn't know who the dad was. I was raped and I got pregnant with twins! I honestly wanted to give up, but I loved my babies. But how? I was raped. That should be enough for me to terminate my pregnancy, but I kept my babies. I gave my life up, for a new and better one! Regardless of the situation, there's always a way! I told my mother; she was happy—I was scared sh--less. My dad supported me too. I took on a lie; I told people I didn't know who the dad was. I took on embarrassment and judgement for my babies. I still make up lies about the dad. I know who he is, but I can't face him yet!  And to this day, I think about what my life would be like if I would have gotten that abortion! Yah, I feel like slapping the sh-- out of people when they bring their dad up, but nosy people suck! There's a choice, and I don't regret keeping my babies. I never have! I love them and you will too, once you decide. It’s a  decision that will stick to you for the rest of your life!

Age: 23
Location: Canada
Date: September 30, 2017

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